My sister took an English relation to a club game of ours many years ago. During the course of the game, when things weren't going too well for one of our corner backs, a woman in the crowd was shouting:
"Take that useless c**t off, he's good for nothing".

Needless to say, the English relation was horrified at such a remark and tried to reason with the lady saying: "There's no need for that language, I'm sure you wouldn't like someone saying those things about your son," to which she replied: "sure, the useless c**t is my son!"

**************************

I was at an Armagh match in the early 90s with a neighbour of mine who's loud by nature but is particularly vocal at matches (a bit rough around the edges you might say).
Anyway, he took particular umbrage at one particular Armagh player who wasn't having a great game. At one stage he shouts out the name of the player and roars: "if they won't take you off, for f**ks sake, walk off!"

*****************************

Didn't hear this one myself, but the great Willie Joe Padden told me it at last years Mayo v Galway match from an ould fella behind him.
Just after Conor Mortimer missed the change with the free, he stood up
screaming: "Jesus, if Lee Harvey Oswald had been from Mayo, JFK'd be alive and kicking!"

******************************

A barrell of a man who was very much involved in Laois GAA was at a junior football match in Abbeyleix one night, and he went on just to make up numbers (jersey pulled on, playing with the socks around the trousers and someone else's boots).
Anyway, he was running around but the low stature was telling and one of the lads shouted at him: "For f**ks sake Sabu (his nick name), will you go up for the ball to which he replied: "sure I'm not a f**king eejit, won't it come down to me!"

*********************************

At a reserve game in Co. Derry, one team who had only the bare fifteen trotted off at the break getting pretty badly beaten. Johnny at full forward was having a nightmare.... here is part of the half time talk:
Manager: "Johnny, you're coming off."
Johnny: "but we only have the bare 15."
[short pause]

Manager: "come off anyway."

**********************************

Galway minors played KK in the All-Ireland semi-final in '88. The cats (Carey, Ronan, O'Neill, Carter, etc.) were walking it.
Ronan was injured in the second half and the Kilkenny doc was stitching him on the field. As the time went on, a disgruntled Galwayman shouts:

"If ye don't hurry up, he'll be over age!"

**********************************
 *

At a minor league game a couple of years ago, our manager was giving the usual f**king and blindin' to us when a spectator said to him over the fence:
"Don't be so ignorant....(short pause).... ye big fat f**ker ye."


**********************************
 **

Nice Tipperary one. Workmates console Eddie Tucker after Tipp are demolished by Clare and he's had a bad day: "don't worry about it Eddie, it wasn't your fault, it's the fecin eejits that picked ya."

**********************************
 ***

Another classic I've been told involves the Ballygar-St. Brendan's hurling club in Galway where a major dispute reared it's head at the AGM.
The chairman is reportedly a straight-talking bachelor of questionalbe diplomacy. Amidst the row, a newly appointed priest took the floor commenting on how the GAA should be a focal point for the 2 parishes, not a source of argument. He continued on about how everyone should pull together for the good of the club and see the club as a unifying force. The chairman stood up and said: "Thanks a lot for that now Father, but that's the kind of shite that sickens my hole."


Subject: gaa quotes



*1. "I love Cork so much that if I caught one of their hurlers in bed with
my missus, I'd tiptoe downstairs and make him a cup of tea" - Joe Lynch,
actor.*

2. "We've won one All-Ireland in a row" Wexford Fan in 1996.

3. "The toughest match I ever