If you dress sexy, he says you're a slut
If you argue with him, he says you're stubborn,
If you're quiet, he says you're stupid
If you call him, he says you're needy and clingy.
If he calls you, he says you "should be grateful"
If you don't love him, he'll try to win you
If you love him, he'll leave you.
If you don't fuck him, he'll say you don't love him,
If you do, he'll say you're easy.
If you tell him your problems, he'll say your irritating,
If you don't, he'll say you don't trust him.
If you lecture him, he'll say you're bitchy,
If he lectures you, it's because he 'cares for you'.
If you break a promise, you can't be trusted,
If he breaks it, he 'had to'
If you cheat, you expect it to be over
If he cheats, he expects to be given another chance

42 ways to annoy your parents...
1. Follow them around the house everywhere...
2. Moo when they say your name...
3. Run into walls...
4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...
5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...
6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...
7. Wear a sticker that says, "im a retard"...
8. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time...
9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...
10. Do what they actually tell you...
11. Jump off the roof, trying to fly...
12. Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people...
13. At everything they say yell, Liar...
14. Try to swim in the floor...
15. Tap on their door all night...
16.Pretend to have amnesia...
17.Say everything backwards...
18.Give yourself a love bite...
19.Run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling, "the sun!!! it's dying!!!"...
20.Sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house...in your underwear...
21.Have nervous spasms at spontaneous times...
22.Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder...
23.Run in circles...
24.Recite a whole movie 3 times...
25.Pretend to beat yourself up...
26.Slither everywhere...
27.Wear your pants on your head and your shirt on your waist... tell them you're making a fashion statement...
28.Try and drink out of a glass the wrong way...
29.Super glue your finger up your nose...
30.Talk to a pen...
31.Lay face down and chant like an indian tribe...
32.Try and climb the wall...
33.Spread out on the window and buzz, pretending to be a fly...
34.Take your ice cream cone and put it one your forehead... say you're a lovely unicorn...
35.Put pegs on your nose and eyes...
36.Switch the light button on and off for a while. then say, "ooooh... I get it!!!"...
37.Eat your hair...
38.Whatever they are eating, tell them it looks like a certain animal...
39.Eat anything obviously not edible...
40.Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house...
41.When you shower or bathe yell, "i'm drowning!!!"...
42.Try to snorkel in your fish tank... The Player

01] I ..... louise
02] louise is ..........
03] If I were alone in a room with louise I would ......
04] I think louise should .......
05] louise needs ......
06] I want to....louise
07] Someday louise will ......
08] louise reminds me of ......
09] Without louise ......
10] My memories of louise are .....
11] louise can be .......
12] The Worst thing about louise is .....
13] The best thing about louise is ......
14] I am ..... with louise.
15] One thing i would like to do to louise is...
16] louise should go and .......
17] louise ..... me