Gawd was it a mistake im out here. Nothing seems to be goin good at all i feel like i totally abandoned my daughter. I lost the love of my life and the father of my child. I lost all faith in wanting to socialize with ppl here but not all faith in trying to lose weight and im not goin to be drinking well im out here which is good cause im not a very good worker been hungover and tired. But anyway back to losing the the guy i ever loved. Its a heart breaking time for me it sucks i cant please myself and my daughter and richard. I miss them both like crazy but im out here to make money thati dont have which on some level makes a lil sense. Gawd im so sorry richard but i vow to you that i will always be there for you no matter what. I love you always and forever you will be in my heart soul and mind. Nyssa mommy loves you baby im so sorry we have to be apart mommy hopes one day you will understand. Thanks to my sister and brother in law. My momma i love you guys for helping me out in such a big way. And to laura skyler and ronald as well thanks. Hope everyone has an awesome summer and see you in august then im back at work again. *sigh* Love ya

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Geez where do i even start? Well what even happened in 2006? Well january thats where i started to get post partum depression really bad so that effected everything in my life like money, my relationship everything and i turned 24 which was ok i guess well not really i didnt do a thing on my birthday well no i cant say nothing i did have cake and tea at lauras richards mom and that was ok and thats it for january and febuary well i got better with the whole thing but my relationship was still rocky but good not much happened well richard went to rupert thats about it. So for march Richard and i really starte to get bad fighting alot so we figurd it ws because he wasnt working and so he went out on line to find one and landed one in vancouver which was great but he had to leave right aay so he did which was well bad because are goodbye was crappy. So on to april, geez thats a hard one my nonnie starte to get really sick in this month and they said there was nothing they can do for her which was hard hardest time in my life i still have a hard time. So she passed away On april 20th/2006 which was so fricking hard its till seems crazy, nothing will never be the same anymore. Im may me and richard broke up and that was hard to but hey you got a gut feeling about something you just got to go with it and let it work its self out. But seems like all there was for june, july till i moved to Vancouver where i stayed with my mom where richard And murray were still staying so that was really awkward but we got over it and tried to get back together so for the next 5 months was a really rough patch but we got by it and moved on and went home for christmas which was strange and awkward well for me anyway my family were all really not ready for christmas cause my non wasntthere to keep everyone in check and together. I miss you non and love you so much....... But as for my new year i spent at Daddy cools which was awesomeme and Blake hung out all night and then Richard showed up right at 3 yes i said 3 but its better that way i dont believe in the whole kiss at midnight hing what makes it work is you and him and trust me we make it work,lol my god im a loser........... So its goin ok forme but the sad part is when we gt bacl to van everything was ok till his chinnie came down for some surgery and man that was crazy but he didnt make it he passed away and i was just in the same possesion lie 9 months before so i know what he is feeling and hes trying so hard to keep it all in. Yes hes one of those tough guys. So he went home for his chinnies funeral whichmade me sad cause im not there with him but so far my 2007 is ok well my life i mean but i well write again here i come 2007