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Gary Jordan
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Male, 28,
18
- from Ringaskiddy
- I am In a Relationship
- Profile views: 1,932
- Last active: 10/12/11
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Post a Comment:- Me, Myself, and I
- ALRITE COCKNOSE! where do i start-with 'me' or 'my life' or 'I'.....I'm 'me' anyway, but at the moment 'my life 'isn't really talking to me coz we had a fight, thats really down to the fact that 'I' started talking about 'my life' one night when we were all drinking shots in a downtown bar. so understandably, i (as in 'me') decided to really only talk to 'I' until 'my life' and 'I' cleared things up. but i suppose since my birth, 'me', 'my life' and 'i' have all really got on together, i'm due to have a poker night soon and i hope that 'my life' is up to it. i know that 'I' am anyway. i haven't really been talking about 'me' that much, well i'm not much of a boaster so i tend to really only talk about 'my life' and 'I'. i must be beginning to bore people now so i'll stop. but other than that, that's basically everything up to date about 'me', 'my life' and 'I'. thanks for reading, all three of us appreciate it.
What a loada shite, anyhow, to make sense now, i'm 'me'.
- The Other Half Of Me
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She's a freak........help me.....quick!!!!
- Music
- Anything goes....
- Films
- Blue...
- Sports
- Not Cooking...
- Scared Of
- Theres a long list, available in PDF.doc format on your desktop now, just go into Programs;Search; and enter "Garys Fears", ; press Enter.
- Happiest When
- Singin' with a pint in one hand and a shot in the other...
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New drive-thru ATM
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set hand brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart car after stalling engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Hand Brake.
0 Comments 227 weeks
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A sweet story...
Mr. Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a coach journey. It was After Eight.
She was from Quality Street; he was a Fisherman's Friend. On the way, they
stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum & Butter and she had a Wine Gum.
He asked her name. "Polo, I'm the one with the hole", she said. "I'm the one
with the Nuts", he thought. Then he touched her Milky Way.
They checked in and went straight to the bedroom. Mr. Cadbury turned out the
light for a bit of Black Magic.
It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt the
contrast of her Double Decker. Then he showed her his Curly Wurly.
Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any more Jelly Babies, so she let him take
a trip down Bourneville Boulevard. He was pleased as he always fancied a bit
of Fudge.
It was a Magic Moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight. When he
came out, his Fun Sized Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more but he
decided to take Time Out. However, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very
appetizing...
So he did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbert and gave her a Gob Stopper.
Unfortunately Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel.
Sadly, he was soon to discover he had caught VD. It turned out Miss Rowntree
had been with All Sorts.0 Comments 375 weeks
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Alright m8, was it u that posted the comment on my profile page or is it some kind of scam via the link?
wats d crac
well dont remember this been taken ha messy nyt ha, u and ur statue ha
What r u doin online baby i taught u had an early nite planned
my man!!
Hows d form bud I dnt no if u remember me but i was d slugger on d emer 2 years ago? Hows tings???
u head up toffs 4 the sat ?? playboy night what a nite dat would off been !!im sittin ere bored off mre tree on duty oh i cant wait 4 next weekend id say jur over da hse now gettin sorted 4 2 moro ya , not going lie with this weather anywhere s btr , any crack ??
yes sir!! playboy bunny's all over the gaff
i shall see u on the dance floor barry 
sean is in hiding till ibiza! 
ah its sound boii cant complain so far anyways crews great crack still gettin 2 know most dem ya know mad week last week ya know so didnt really get time settle in at all lol , u headin sligo this weekend or dat ?? playboy nite in toffs and few fee drinks me thinks so promotionla offers??
i ws there last night lad ya , up sligo nw out tonight hittin toffs l8r on dwn 2 moro 2 cork ragin !!out den monday
weell jordy lad wats da cracks?? how u been keepin booy??
Here ya go gar gar
Xxx
Whats happenin fella? Ne craic? How jur long wkend go? Im fuckin lyk a lobster
havent seen ya in sligo in a while , not good eneogh for ya is it lol good yeager bombers ha ha
Cant wait im even gonna give ya my last love Mwah Xxx
sean is locked up till ibiza dude
its boring ol shane dis wkend 
i'm off sat though, woop woop!! high kings r here june 5th one of the lads said so i'll have to find out wat the crack is wit tickets!
Where did u copy that from babe !!!
Here ya go FREAKO Xxx
gaz check out my flash box!! not as gud as the guy we heard in cyprus, barry wasn't it?
Happenin me oul flower! Gone to eithne not 2 bad out dare bud its a good crew! Trip to da states should be good aswel
mind yourself shim sham oh ps TOUCH YOURSELF N THINK OF ME 
