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- Time is never wasted when you are wasted all the time.
- Me, Myself, and I
- <---------- O.K you can't judge us happy hour was over in about a hour so we had to stock up! GO TO BELGIUM!
The indians are coming! put your scalp in your pocket!
The top 5 things in my life in order of importance, any one of which i wudnt be able to live without and number 5 being the one i cud go the longest without:
- The Other Half Of Me
she's the little chinese girl i bought on the net!
- i ran out of space for my things i'v done drunk.
- i'v put all of it into my blog now
- Happiest When
- drunk, getting drunk, talking about when i was drunk or when i going to be drunk. AND WAKING UP AND REALISING THAT YOU'R STILL DRUNK! OR IN A TRACTOR
- I HATE!!!
- small people with fucking umbrellas!
you cant walk down the road without nearly gettin the eye torn out of your head everytime its rainin. I ALSO HATE PEOPLE WHO DONT LOVE TRACTORS
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Well, you see its like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, its the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weakest brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that is why you always feel smarter after a few beers
0 Comments 305 weeks
gone to galway for no reason gettin there at half 3, gone out for a few in the pub and ended up in ballymun wit tully again for no reason, woke up places iv never heard of like glenagery(thats not even spelled right), woke up in my garden, woke up on my stairs, stole road signs (oh god so many road signs), got picked up by the gards, went gambling (usually won sorry al), robbed drinks, robbed a leather jacket, slept on a bouncing castle (god that was cold), got a taxi with randomers and got out while they wer asleep so i didnt pay, got sick on myself and anyone withen an arms lenght of me, fell asleep in the maynooth su jacks, got kicked out of the su 4 times in 3 visits, got fucked out of the roost for pushing a tranny, got on the roof of tesco, picked out the bush i was goin to spend the night in cause i had no taxi money (thankfully it didnt come to that), climbed over parked cars and nearly killed myself, nearly climbed over an unmarked gardai car full of gardai (obiously didnt see them), tryed to convince martin to let me sleep on the grass verge in tenereif cause it was so comfortable, pissed while walking across a bridge, burned people, burned myself, passed out in front of my entire extended family, bought ridiculous amounts of chocolate fingers with mono, had the gardai called cause me and slev were playing squares at 3 in the morning, went drinking in the smallest room ever under the pav cause we got fucked out of the pav, fell asleep on al (not in a gay way), invited 3 random lituanian lads who i met on the bus back to slev's gaf (as you can imagine slev was mad happy), robbed seats off a bus, gotten sick in pretty much every club in dublin a few in galway and a few over seas, had a bus driver drive us to the gardai station and get about 5 gards to take us off the bus cause we wer singing too loud, gotten on the wrong bus and ended up in kildare, gotten on the right bus and still ended up in kildare, ended up in town with no money, no battry and no idea were anyone was so i had to make freinds with 2 random american lads who wer goin to lexlip so that i cud get into the taxi for free, coloured half of some guys face in because he fell asleep at a party but to be fair thats really his fault cause like wat was i suposed to do, tryed to hot wire a floor cleaner and drive it home, ran down the middle of a motorway locked drunk in dense fog, entered(and lost) a whiskey drinking contest with greeners dad, robbed a fuel cap off a truck, climbed into the back of the gardai pickup truck at pearse st so we could take pictures, pushed the parked gardai cars around outside pearse st cause they all had the handbrake off, spent the entire nite dancing on a table in lyon, stole a light bulb from a pub (nearly burning the hand off myself in the process), stole 2 maracas from a pub in france
3 Comments 320 weeks
NEW PLAN! if you think about it all zombie stories always go the same way! 95% of the population die withen the first week. so from now on im playing the numbers game. headin to the pub and gettin shit faced soon as a think i see a fuckin zombie! your only gonna last a day anyway you may aswell be fucking wasted! that way wen the zombies start eating you and what not you want really care cause u will already be wasted! and if somehow the army or whoever find a way to stop the zombies or it turns out it wasnt zombies at all but just 2 or 3 lads with savage hangovers then ur quids in cause you just had a free nite in the pub! its one of those plans wer you just cant go wrong!
5 Comments 325 weeks