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- Me, Myself, and I
- NAME>Callum Easton
SCHOOL> Auchmuty 5th Year
TEAM> Glenrothes Strollers >>> Scotia
- Team America, Ancorman, Band Of Brothers, BRAVEHEART
- Football team ((LIVINGSTON)) PLAY FOR ROTHES JUNIROS, GOLF, Mountain biking
- ma addy is
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- there gid
What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
The one guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."
Why haven't they sent any women to the moon? A. Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
Why can't women drive? A: There ain't no road between the kitchen and the bedroom!
Why doon't women need watches? A: Duh!! There's a clock on the stove
How many women does it take to change a light bulb? A: None..let her cook in the dark!!....
If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
-A battery has a positive side.
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
-Put a nipple on it.
1 Comment 301 weeks
Got 2 read this.....soooo funny
Being Scottish is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or ,aTurkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most Scottish thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Scotland can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Scotland do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Sotland do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Scotland do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Scotland do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Scotland do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Scotland are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION..
3 Scots die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Scots were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Scots are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Scots have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Scots have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
Scottish Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Scots had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Scots were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Scots were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.
In 2000 eight Scots were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet!
Im proud to be a Scot!
SCOTLAND - Love it, or Leave it!
0 Comments 315 weeks
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