My friend Orla was bought a frozen chicken for her secret santa at school. So me and lauren decided to come up with ways to use the chicken (apart from eat it I mean thats just boring):
If ye have any ideas of your own gone write them in the comment box

1. Take your chicken to the creche

2. Stick a stamp on your chicken and put him in a post box

3. donate your chicken to the local charity shop

4. Book your chicken in for a massage

5. Rape your chicken

6. Have your chicken do a crowd surf

7. Kick the crap out of the chicken

8. Listen to him

9. Buy the chicken an ipod

10. Book a funeral for your chicken

11. Take him to the library and try to check him out as a book

12. Leave him back in the shop you bought him so someone else can buy him

13. Put your chicken through an airport scanner

14. Have your chicken arrested

15. Buy and drive your chicken in a pram

16. Write christmas cards and sign them chicken

17. Drop your chicken into the place buskers have for their money

18. Hold sausages in front of the chicken and tell it that you like them better

19. Take him sunbathing on the beach

20. Send him to the laundrette to be cleaned

21. Play tennis with the chicken

22. Get the chicken pregnant

23. Tell the chicken hes got no meat on him

24. Help your chicken commit suicide

25. Book your chicken a seat on a plane

26. Put him in a lift and watch him go up and down all day long

27. Take him to the zoo

28. Wax your chicken

29. Shave your chicken

30. Eat chicken soup and laugh at the chicken

31. Get sentimental with the chicken

32. Carry the chicken into a shop and pretend that its a baby

33. Throw the chicken on a stage at a concert

34. Bury him at the beach

35. Take the chicken trampolining

36. Push the chicken down a slide

37. Give your chicken a hi five

38. Tell people insulting stuff and say that the chicken said it

39. Take your chicken to a yoga class

40. Chicken in a china shop - use your imagination

41. Take your chicken to have its eyes tested

42. Park your chicken over a whole space in a busy carpark

43. Phone an ambulance about your chicken

44. Attach the chicken to a lead and take it for a walk

45. Have your chicken live in an old peoples home

46. Hang your chicken out on the line to dry

47. Disguise your chicken with a fake nose and mostache.

48. Try to lodge your chicken in the bank

49. Give your chicken a swizz

50. Have your chicken get high

51, Store drugs in your chicken

52. Take the chicken for a pint

53. When the time comes, get the chicken a bra

54. Take your chicken on holidays

55. Take it to a farm to laugh at the other chickens who arent loved

56. Show your chicken to Orla's mum, she'll laugh

57. Tell your chicken about the birds and the bees! haha

58. Take your chicken to work

59. Throw it off a bridge if it pisses you off!

60. Take it to a fridge often to aviod bad smells

61. Introduce your chicken to your parents!

62. Wrap your chicken in paper an give it away as a christmas present!

63. Take your chicken to see Santa.

64. Take it to france an watch it get a french accent

65. Take your chicken on the Razzzzz!!!

66. Get a sign saying 'beware of the chicken'

67. Tell your chicken you love it!

68. Kiss your chicken!

69. Stroke your chicken!

70. Tuk your chicken into bed! awwhh!

71. Adopt a chicken friend!

72. Buy a bagde saying 'I love my fucking chicken'

73. Poke the shit outs your chicken!

74. Tickle it till it pees! (even though its frozen)

75. if anyone laughs at you with your chicken! slap them with it!

76. Play Happy slaps with your chicken!

77. Book a romantic table for two, just you and your chicken!

78. Throw the chicken at annoying buskers!

79. Lick your chicken!

80. Take him to a concert!

81.Buy it a car seat!

82, If it cries, it's ok, it's just a chicken li

Choose life.

Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future.

Choose life... i choose not to choose life i choose something else

Name: Eithne Glackin
Birthday: 21th July
Place of Birth: derry
Star Sign: cancer
Eye Colour: greeny blue
Left or right-handed: right
School: Lumen christi

<Favourites>

Colour: purple
Food: general stuff 2 eat
Shoe Brand: Vans, Vans, Vans, Vans
Restaurant: fitzroys (they hav nice chocolate cake)
Films: 10 things i hate bout u, edward scissorhands ...

Yes or No

Smoke: no
Drink: hmm...
Been In A Car Accident: not a serious 1
Hate Your Parents: i luv my parents
Ever Broken The Law: illegally downloading music?

Currently

Wearing: hot pajamas
Talking To Online: no1 ... wer has half the world gone?
What Times Is It: 22.54
Are You Happy Right Now: of course
What Are You Listening To: OKGO - ur so damn hot
What Are You Doing: internet

One Or The Other

Water/Fizzy Drink: H2O
Dark/Milk/White Chocolate: milk ... espcially buttons
Rock/Pop: Rock
Pop/Hiphop: pop
Hiphop/Rock: Rock
George Bush/Bill Clinton: Bill Clinton
Dog/Cat: dog
Phone/Computer: computer
Highstreet/Online Shopping:highstreet

Love Life

Do You Have A Boyfriend/Girlfriend: nope
Do You Want To Get Married Some Day: "Some Day"
Do You Want To Have Kids: adopted Chinese ones
What Are The Two Things You Look For In Someone: hotness, humour


Your Future

What Do You Want To Do When You Grow Up: maths/physics person or a doctor
Do You Want To Have Kids: possibly
What Kind Of Car Do You Want: the one from transformers. it was hot
What Colour: the colour of the future is orange
Who Do You Want To Marry: on te beach
Where Do You Want To Live: in a home

<Usage Of Stuffs>

What Kind Of Shampoo Do You Use: changes regularly
Desktop Or Laptop: desktop bt id like a laptop
How Many Computers Do You own: 1
How Many Computers Do You Have In Your House: 3
Do You Have Your Own Room: Duh
Does Your Room Have A TV: nope
Do You Like Your Room: i hav plans 2 design my wall theni shall like it
What's In Your Room: wudnt u like 2 no!
What's On Your Bed: everything that was on my floor earlier
How Many Floors Does Your House Have: 2
How Many Rooms Does Your House Have: 12