Yes yes yes all below is true and It has helped me sooooo much to settle back into home!!!!

To all backpackers, ex-backpackers and wannabies;
Having trouble readjusting to life back at home now that the travelling
is over? Here's a few handy hints to help you settle back in......

1) Replace your bed with two or more bunk beds, and every night invite
random people to sleep in your bedroom with you. Ensure at least once a
week a couple gets drunk and shags on one of the
top bunks. Remove beds one by one as your symptoms improve


2)Sleep in your sleeping bag, forgetting to wash it for months...

Add some bugs in order to wake up with many unsightly bites over your
arms and legs

3)Enlist the help of a family member to set your radio alarm to go off
randomly during the night, filling your room with loud talking.This works
best if the station is foreign. Also have several mobiles ringing, without
being answered. To add to the torture, ask a friend to bring plastic bags
into your room at roughly 6 in the morning and proceed to rustle them for no
apparent reason for a good half an hour

4)Keep all your clothes in a rucksack. Remember to smell them before
puting them on and reintroduce the use of the iron SLOWLY

5)Buy your favourite food, and despite living at home, write your name and
when you might next be leaving the house on all bags. This should include
mainly pasta, 2 minute noodles, carrots and beer

6)Ask a family member to every now and again steal an item of
food, preferably the one you have most been looking forward to or
the most expensive. Keep at least one item of food far too long or in a
bag out in the sun, so you have to spend about 24 hours within sprinting
distance of the toilet

7) Even if it's a Sunday, vacate the house by 10a.m., and then stand on
the corner of the street looking lost. Ask the first passer-by of similar
ethnic background if they have found
anywhere good to go yet

Find someone you really fancy, have a two day relationship then realise
it isnt going to work as you both live so far away, but secretly it could.

9)When sitting on public transport (the London Tubewould
be ideal) introduce yourself to the person sitting next to you,
say which stop you got on at, where you are going, how long you
have been travelling and what university you went to. If they say
they are going to Morden, say you met a guy on the central line
who said it was terrible and that you've heard Parsons Green is
better and cheaper

10)Finally stick paper in your shower so that the water comes
in just a drizzle. Adjust the hot/cold taps at regular intervals so
that you are never fully satisfied with the temperature.
Because of this frustration,shower infrequently.

These simple but effective instructions should help you fall
back into normal society with the minimum effort.....

Good luck!

new one for all the ladies

You've been hit by the
>
> |^^^^^^^^^^^^^^| ||
> |...WINE TRUCK..........| ||'|";, ___.
> |_..._..._______===|=||_|__|..., ] -
> "(@)'(@)"""''"**|(@)(@)*****''(@)
>
>once you've been hit, you have to hit 12 woman who like to drink and
>have fun ; including the one who sent it to u . If you get hit again
>you'll know you really have a problem!
>(obviously this was written by and to a woman)
>
>
>when girls drink too much............
>
>1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.
>
>2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt
>while yelling "woo-hoo!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.
>
>3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and
>honestly believe we could do it too.
>
>4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a
>homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago
>
>5. We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo
>much.
>
>6. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song
>play's because "oh my god! I love this song!"
>
>7. We've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us.
>
>8. We've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
>
>9. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us
just
>tonic, but that's just because we can no longer taste the gin.
>
>10. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the
>kitchen floor (or the mop?)
>
>11. We fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when we sit on it.
>
>12. We take our shoes off because we believe it's their fault that
we're
>having problems walking straight.
>
>Send this along to all the girls you know who like to have fun. Make
>them laugh at themselves ... Like you probably did....sadly, many are
>true!!

This is soooooo true and I am sorry to all I have done it to!1 And yes it is the one with the boyfriend that leads me astray namely Catherine Fegan.....


BRAINROT....this summer's biggest killer........ of any chance you may
have with a fella!



What causes a seemingly normal easy going girl to brain rot?



The recipe for disaster is simple......

Take one female.

Add 10 Vodkas and shake thoroughly on the dance floor.

Then take one mobile phone and add 20 euro credit.



When female is nicely toasted place mobile phone in hand and sit her

on a step outside a chipper.

Give hair a backcombed look and smear lipstick down left side of face for
presentation purposes.

Female will then proceed to brain rot any man she fancies!



At first the brain rotting may take a simple form such as ..."RU OUT
2NITE?"



Usually a response will not be forthcoming due to the late hour the

brain rotting takes place.



The male is usually:

A. In bed

B. In bed with his girlfriend

C. In bed with his boyfriend (It is not uncommon to brain rot the gay community)

D. Inside the chipper getting himself a breast in a bun and watching

you brain rot him on the step outside the window



The brain rotter in question will not react well to the lack of

responding texts and will continue to text in an increasingly desperate
manner:



For example:

"Hey Lisa, scored wit John 2nite!" (This is a lie and is used

both to make the male "jealous" and start a conversation)



"Ooops, sorry Eoin, that wasn't meant 4u! How ru?"



"Y r'nt u textin back?"



"Ru odd wit me?"



"I cant believe ur bein such an @sshole, I thought we were goin 2
try

2b friends!!"



"D girls told me u were a B@st@rd but i wudnt listen!"



"I never want 2 cu again, I hope ur dog dies!"



"Well..."



"WELL...."



"Sorry, really drunk, I luv u so much"



"Did u get dat last msg? I sed I luv u!"



"Well..."



"WELL..."



"I HATE U, I HOPE U GET RUN OVER BY A BUS"





There may be a slight delay in the delivery time to the brainrottees

phone as the texts may be so drunken they will probably have to stop

off for a bag of chips on the way.





At this stage the brainrotter is usually in tears and shouting abuse

at random male passers-by.



In her mind they are the source of all her problems...after all they are
MEN!



Fortunately the brainrotter will be too intoxicated to form a full

sentence and will be duly ignored by them!





This condition can befall any female, from the very shy to the extroverted.

The very shy are usually egged on by their friends who already have boyfriends.



These friends miss the thrill of single life and wish to flirt

vicariously through the brainrotter while incurring zero damage to their
reputation/dignity.



REMEMBER THE ONE WITH THE BOYFRIEND DOES THE DAMAGE.



If you think you may be a brainrotter, there are ways to prevent this:





A. Make sure there is no credit in your phone when you head out.

B. Give your mobile to a reliable friend to mind. This is not to

prevent loss, but to prevent other sneaky friends from brainrotting on

your behalf for the laugh.

C. Leave your mobile at home. It is best to put it in your underwear

drawer in case you still have the urge to brainrot when you get home.

With so many bras and knickers it's hard to locate something in that

drawer even when sober never mind while steaming.

D. Delete the potential brainrottees number from the phone. However

this will not work in cases where the number is known off by heart.



REMEMBER: NEVER DRINK AND DIAL!!!!