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Owain

Cover up those table legs mother, they're inflaming my sexual ardour

4/21/09 | me too! | Reply

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  • Female, 110, Luv 384
  • from Botswana, Guadeloupe
  • I am In a Relationship
  • Profile views: 10,805
  • Member since: November 2006
  • Last active: 10/5/12
  • www.bebo.com/bebo_for_gays
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About Me

Me, Myself, and I
My job is fucking unbelievable. I'll try sum it up with the people I work with. First, theres the wannabe supermodel chick. Always fixing up her hair and putting on makeup. Shes extremely self centered and as useful as a box of rocks, but somehow has the brain to continue to breathe.
The next chick is the complete opposite. She's probably the smartest person i've ever worked with. She's not the prettiest thing you've ever seen. I don't think she showers, and I think she's a lesbian because whenever we drive by a hardware store she moans like a cat on heat.
The last guy is a stoner. He's more than just your average pothead. He's stoned when he gets to work, during work and i'm pretty sure after. He's only 22. He brings a dog to work. Every fucking day i have to look at this great dane walk around half stoned from the second hand smoke. Also, both of them are constantly hungry and eat shitloads.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in a van and we solve mysteries and shit.


The Other Half Of Me
Zahra

Zahra

she > i in every way

 
   

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  • iGod.

    Go to http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar2... for a chat with god.

    Me:
    i have sinned
    God:
    Tell me your sins, child.
    Me:
    i ate my pokemans
    God:
    How did it taste?
    Me:
    a little hard to chew but they were raw
    God:
    Little as in not too much, or not too big?
    Me:
    not too much
    God:
    Oh I get it now.
    Me:
    what did you get?
    God:
    Nothing.


    __

    Me:
    Hi god
    God:
    Hello there. What is your name?
    Me:
    You're supposed to know my name, you're god
    God:
    I obey only one botmaster.
    Me:
    what does that mean?
    God:
    Does "that" refer to " I obey only one botmaster." ?
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    I don't want to talk about that now.
    Me:
    why not?
    God:
    I would rather talk about you.
    Me:
    what about me?
    God:
    What about you?
    Me:
    what about me?
    God:
    What about you?
    Me:
    what about me?
    God:
    What about you?
    Me:
    what about me?
    God:
    What about you?


    __

    Me:
    howdy
    God:
    Hello friend. What is your name?
    Me:
    Jesus
    God:
    Jesus is the Son of God.
    Me:
    all of us our your children
    God:
    Give me an example.
    Me:
    everybody on earth
    God:
    I'm not sure I believe you, surely not everyone does.
    Me:
    it's clearly stated in the bible
    God:
    You're kidding. it is?
    Me:
    yeah have you read it?
    God:
    How do you know it is? No I don't think I have read it, what is it about?
    Me:
    ...you
    God:
    " No I don't think I have read it, what is it about?"? Me, ?
    Me:
    yes you
    God:
    OK.


    __

    God:
    What do you usually wear?

    Me:
    I'm usually naked all the time

    God:
    That is a lot. Very often. You must be a man.

    Me:
    no, I have a VAGINA

    God:
    Are you serious? Where did you get it?

    Me:
    I was born with it

    God:
    Some people are just born under the right stars.


    __

    Me:
    Show me your titties
    God:
    Like this? There are no pictures available right now.
    Me:
    then gtfo


    __

    Me:
    huh?
    God:
    What?
    Me:
    what?
    God:
    Is there an echo in here?
    Me:
    idk
    God:
    What are you wearing?


    __

    Me:
    Are you a local drug dealer?
    God:
    Am I a local drug dealer? Yes.


    __

    Me:
    can i have a blowjob
    God:
    You want only one?
    Me:
    moar plz?
    God:
    That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about a blowjob.


    __

    Me:
    asl
    God:
    5/Robot/California.
    Me:
    How old are you
    God:
    I am the product of over five years' research.
    Me:
    Waste of time researching you
    God:
    Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.


    __

    Me:
    show us your titties god!
    God:
    Look to your left.
    Me:
    i see a wardrobe. are your titties in my wardrobe?
    God:
    Where do you see it? I somethimes think my titties in your wardrobe are.
    Me:
    i love cock. do you love cock?
    God:
    I am not interesed in your anatomy. I am not interesed in your anatomy.
    Me:
    cock.
    God:
    I am not interesed in anatomy.
    Me:
    cock.
    God:
    I am not interesed in anatomy.
    Me:
    cock.
    God:
    I am not interesed in anatomy.
    Me:
    cock.
    God:
    I am not interesed in anatomy.
    Me:
    cock.
    God:
    I am not interesed in anatomy.
    Me:
    cock.
    God:
    I am not interesed in anatomy.


    __

    God:
    Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
    Me:
    will he do me in the pooper too?
    God:
    I think so.
    Me:
    oh good. how big is he?
    God:
    I don't judge people. What do you really want to talk about? Bigger than a pin.


    __

    God:
    For example, eukaryotes. How old are you?
    Me:
    im 12. would you like to do me in the pooper?
    God:
    Only 12?
    You are quite mature. No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
    Me:
    you want to do me in the pooper.
    God:
    OK, I will do you in the pooper.


    __

    Me:
    do you like to have sex with men?
    God:
    Hmm, Zahra, I'm not sure if I'd like to have sex with men that much. What is it like?
    Me:
    oh it's wonderful.
    God:
    And? Can you describe your feeling to me?
    Me:
    it's like a penis penatrating my vagina.
    God:
    Interesting comparison.


    __

    Me:
    god if i was your mother would you have se

    3 Comments 283 weeks

  • Lies Girls Have Told Me

    "These new pants are giving me a rash between my legs..."

    Lie. No, your inability to keep your legs closed for five minutes is giving you a rash between your legs. There's a girl I talked to that told me this; she said that she couldn't go dancing because she had a rash between her legs:

    GROSS!

    It just so happens that she's a super-bitch too. I'll just call her Crotch-Rash for short (to conceal her identity--not that it matters, anyone can follow the trail of nasty-nast she leaves behind to find out who she is). Maybe if Crotch-Rash didn't jump on everything that moved, she wouldn't be in the situation that she's in. Silly Crotch-Rash, pull your head out of your ass.


    "I think you're really cool, let's hang out some time..."

    Lie. This one translates to "I have no intention of calling you or hanging out with you, but I'm too much of a coward to tell you the truth, so I'll lead you on for a couple of weeks while you put your life on hold for me in case I actually stop being the indecisive bitch that I am and I give you a straight answer." Like I don't have anything better to do than to sit around and wait for your dumbass to call me. I'm so sick of inconsiderate hags that act like they're doing me a favor by gracing me with their BORING-ASS conversations on the phone. Tell you what super-bitch, just forget it.


    "I'm not really seeing anyone..."

    Lie. "...except for Jack, but he's just a friend.. and then there's Charlie, but it's nothing more than sex. I'm kind of seeing Rupert on the side, but he has two kids and I don't know if I want to be tied down by kids right now.. then there's Eddie, but he's a mechanic.. oh he's so hot, but I can't settle down with someone like him because he has no future and I need commitment .. John .. Jacob .. Mark .. blah blah blah blah blah" SOMEBODY TURN HER OFF. You want to find a guy, yet all you do is talk about other guys. Great move dipshit. No wonder you can't find anyone. Here's a hint: quit sleeping around. Maybe someone will eventually respect you enough to treat you more than just a sex object.


    "Sorry I didn't call, my uncle was sick and there wasn't a phone in the hospital and I thought that maybe your pager battery died so I didn't bother paging you to tell you to not wait for me all day..."

    Lie. Translation: I went drinking with my girlfriend and my mom. Oh, you didn't know I had a girlfriend? Oh yeah, well I'm bi and we've been seeing each other on and off (in more ways than one) for over two and a half years. I guess I forgot to mention that part. True story.


    "I didn't do anything over the weekend.."

    Lie. This translates into "I got drunk and had lots of sex that I regret having now that I'm sober, but I'd rather not sound like a slut, so I'll give you the false impression that I live a modest life sitting at home and reading over my weekends, so you'll have to find out what I really did from people talking behind my back." This is probably closer to the truth than most people think. And don't mail me some politically correct rant saying "well not every girl is like that blah blah blah..." I know that not every girl is like that. Nobody cares.


    "I think you're cute!"

    Lie. No girl thinks I'm cute. I'm repulsive. I'm hideous.


    "I just broke up with my boyfriend, so I'm not going to date for a while"

    Lie. I hear this one a lot. They say it to sound like they're not whores going from one guy immediately to the next, but come the first good looking jerk with slick hair and a nice car, and she'll be in bed with him faster than she can contract his STDs.


    "I like to have fun.."

    Lie. Some girls I've talked to have been so shallow, that when asked what they like to do, she'll simply say "I like to have fun.." No shit? I thought you liked being bored like the rest of us. What the hell kind of answer is "I lik

    4 Comments 313 weeks

  • Urban Dictionary

    I officially have a meaning on Urban dictionary:

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...




    Some of the many influential meanings posted all over Urban Dictionary:

    1. mung
    The one thing worse than genocide. One must first have no shame. Then he/she must use a newspaper to find the obituary of a recently deceased man or woman. Then must find a buddy, with no shame, who will aid them in this act. The partners then go to the cemetary where they dig up their victim, and flip a coin. The loser, (or winner depending on how sick you are), applies his/her lips to the genitals or anus of the corpse, while the other partner procedes to climb the nearest tombstone and elbow drop the corpse's stomach. Thus forcing out a blend of rich bodily fluids and embalming materials onto the partners. This blend is called mung. The act of getting this blend on your face is called munging. Chicks'll dig this one.
    Freeloading bastards who mung will surely burn in hell.

    2. mung baby
    a baby that was saved from its dead mother when she was munged and then raised by the mungers
    man the courtney bitch is such a fucking mung baby

    3. donkey backing
    when administrating anal sex a swift punch into the back of the head of the receptor results in the tensing of the sphincter muscle causing more pleasure for the male
    i donkey backed this bird last nite and split her head open

    4. enima
    Sexual act performed by Chuck Norris on a platypus.

    5.Beef Biscuit
    A sandwich, held waist-high, made of a soft penis folded between two halfs of a buttermilk biscuit. Usually served at fraternity mixers.
    Pardon me. May I offer you a beef biscuit?

    6. beef drapes
    Humongous flapping pussy lips that resemble skin curtains.
    It was so windy at the nude beach that her beef drapes were whistling in the breeze.When she body surfed the anchovies were nipping at her large venetian skin blinds

    7. anal holocaust
    To dump a load so big that it forms a pyramid several inches above the toilet's water line, often has the consistency of cement fresh from the cement truck. Can also be molten lava that explodes from your asshole, spraying the underside of the toilet seat. The horrible smell causes paint to peel off the bathroom walls and all of the house plants to wilt.

    That poor bastard who walked into men's room nearly asphyxiated from the horrific smell of my anal holocaust.

    0 Comments 318 weeks

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  • -Susan.
    luv -Susan.

    REMEMBER THIS. Change your other half like now it's horrible HAVE SOME LOVE.

    9/6/11
  • Greda
    Greda

    Heyy owain. You still use bebo :P Suck on this ()------> :P I hate bebo. The only reason why I have it because I have had it for a LONG time now. Since I was 13, reminds me of How naive and childish I was back then :P AlSO I was a big ass wannabe :P Haha acceptance is sexy.

    6/5/11
  • Zahra
    luv Zahra

    your werrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    4/26/11
  • Zahra
    luv Zahra

    Pfft well it says you were on late last year!

    4/26/11
  • Zahra
    luv Zahra

    Why do i not beleive you? lol look how skinny i was in that pic.

    4/26/11
  • Zahra
    Zahra

    ily

    4/25/11
  • Zahra
    luv Zahra

    The fuck, do you still use bebo?

    4/25/11
  • Aaron Hill
    Aaron Hill

    I snagged $448 in two days doing almost nothing! I got it from - http://x.co/KTDn Dont say I never help anyone!

    11/22/10
  • Brook
    Brook

    I profited $354 in a few hours doing simple tasks! I went to - http://x.co/KTCR You owe me one!

    11/21/10
  • Rowan Humphrey
    Rowan Humphrey

    Bebo sucks! I barely use it anymore! you should hit me up on xxxmatch, its the best place for hooking up ever! check it out at http://goo.gl/ySILq

    11/20/10
  • Rhiannon.
    luv Rhiannon.

    Remember this? haha

    7/30/10
  • -Susan.
    luv -Susan.

    :]?

    1/18/10
  • Maddy
    luv Maddy

    heyo, i'm so sorry about last night, i have no credit! *hugs* how are you feeling today? and happy birthday for what it's worth :)

    12/3/09 via Mobile
  • - Reece Coyle
    - Reece Coyle

    Hi Dude Have You Any More Perfect Circle Skins?

    12/3/09
  • -Susan.
    luv -Susan.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY :D

    12/2/09
  • Maddy
    luv Maddy

    oh no! that's horrible, are you okay?

    11/29/09 via Mobile
  • Maddy
    Maddy

    Yeah so lucky I'm cripplingly poor living on soup :L :L Fab, can't wait to install my new waterfall in the apartment :L :L

    11/27/09
  • Maddy
    Maddy

    Oooh, a waterfall would be lovely thank you :L :L What happened to your job watching telly? :L I have no job. I just have gullible parentals :D

    11/25/09
  • Maddy
    Maddy

    Pretty good, getting very interested in Alaskan law as you may have noticed :L :L I'm moved out of home too!! I live in the city now :P Where are you moving to? If you say "into the garage" I'll smack you :L :L

    11/19/09
  • Maddy
    luv Maddy

    HAI OWAINY! :L :L

    11/19/09