So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool....because your not!


Opening Credits:
The Warmth - Incubus

Waking Up:
The Prayer - Bloc Party

First Day At School:
Wow - Snow Patrol

Falling In Love:
I Wanna Make It With Chu - Queens of the Stone Age

Fight Song:
Stockholm Syndrome - Muse

Breaking Up:
Arizona - Kings of Leon

Prom:
King of Rodeo - Kings of Leon

Life's OK:
River is Wild - The Killers

Mental Breakdown:
Valerie - The Zutons

Driving:
Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance

Flashback:
Private Eye - Alkaline Trio

Getting Back Together:
Unintended - Muse

Birth of Child:
For All These Times Son, For All These Times - Lost Prophets

Wedding:
Plug In Baby - Muse

Final Battle:
The Bucket - Kings of Leon

Death Scene:
Hunting For Witches - Bloc Party

Funeral Song:
Falling Away With You - Muse

Well after a long, tortuous and rainy summer, the new Nite Owls season is on the horizon. Everybodys favourite team Jewventus will be back hoping to build on last seasons debut and establish themselves in the league.
The team will shortly be back in pre season training pushing themselves in order to reach peak physical condition in time for the big kick off.
On the player front,it's been a quiet summer in the transfer market for the Jews with gaffer Baros opting to scour the globe for young talent, focusing much of his time in the town of Dungarvan grooming future Jewventus stars. He is quoted as saying “I’ve my eye on one or two, they just need to be broken in first”
However there have been some major rumours involving a number of top quality players. Last season the gaffer stated his desire to bring in a centre back, a left back and a centre mid. Deals for Leighton Baines and Tal Ben Haim fell through ; Baines wanting European football and Ben Haim stating that he is not quite ready to return to his roots, instead deciding to join Chelski. So Baros has decided to go local and is currently in negotiations with Alan Kelly from The Bridge House, John O Brien, now a free agent having bought himself out of his contract with Pres much to the disgust of one Aiden Twomey and Jason Martin Sullivan who has finally finished his Leaving Cert and is eager to pull on a Jews shirt for the first time in over a year. Young player of the year Mikey has also signed his first professional contract with the club. These rumours have excited the Jewventus fan base who were reported to be annoyed with Baros’ lack of activity in the transfer market.
On the sponsorship front J.D Styles will continue to appear on the front of the Jews shirts even though the bar is currently not trading. We are also delighted to announce that Nike have also renewed their "just Jew it" deal with the club, (see pic above), and that Player of the Year Shane Baros Twomey will be the first to don the new Nike Total 90 astros, specially designed in the Jewventus colours. This is of course subject to Baros surviving a number of court cases including the “Youuuuuu Ugly Aul Doll” case, where a number of feminist groups have brought legal proceedings against the player/manager for the use of extreme foul-mouthed abuse in the Savoy nightclub.
The other case, much more serious, we are not at liberty to discuss due to legal reasons until his current employment finishes in Dungarvan.
So that’s the story with the Jews as they begin preparations for the new season.
Coming in the next edition of the Chronicle is the big interview with player/manager Shane Baros Twomey as our star reporter “Strongbow” gets the low down on all the speculation in our report titled “Baros: Sex, Lies, Football and Abuse”.

Ok so here's an explanation of the offside that even the slowest bimbo can understand!!

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till.

Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had
no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop
and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other
shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and,
*whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

There you go!