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Cooker The Duck

you women from the crying game was it you?

8/27/09 | me too! | Reply

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  • Male, 26, Luv 145
  • I am In a Relationship
  • Profile views: 8,080
  • Member since: January 2006
  • Last active: 2/20/11
  • www.bebo.com/cookerFly
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Tagline
they just sit and float
Me, Myself, and I
fisting squirrell's contains naughty stuff and should be not viewed by priests, nuns, the undead, perverts and pedo's , taxi men, bus men,any one who wears pyjama's shopping and the genrel public. We didn't start the fire but we invented it.
Music
The Killers, Prodigy, Franz Ferdinand, Queen, The Strokes, Razorlight and the Arctic Monkeys
Films
Pulp Fiction, Jaws, Reservoir Dogs, and everything else film related
Sports
Football (United Best Team), Dublin
Scared Of
Nothing scares me!!! Except for rainbows, they scare the shit out of me
Happiest When
WANKING and watchin Schlindlers Fist
The Other Half Of Me
Mairead K

Mairead K

the Buro is grande, Ye?

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NEW Inglorious Basterds (2009) Trailer

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  • WHY PEOPLE HATE CUSTOMERS?

    I taught seen as me and AL MAC are writing a series based on working in a supermarket I would sart a blog. that's what people do these days.

    To all people who work in supermarkets please leave comments if you belive in what I say. if you don't, what the fuck do I care. really I don't care. careing is an option.

    I found that working in a supermarket is the most shit job anyone in collage or school can do. it's part time but it's all shit. the biggest part of it been shit is you have to deal with customers or the biggest mother fucking twats that roam around with a trolly looking for shit they don't really need but still bother you .ye we have to deal with managers who have no education and no sense of what they are doing. be it a deli manager who suffers from nerves and I am pretty sure has killed all of his family members by gasing them by leaving off chicken around the place to a guy who always uses the phrase "TWO THINGS" when all he does is tell you to do one thing. anybody who worked with me. knows.

    but customers. oh you all take the biscuit. we don't like working in a shop more then you like getting out of bed and going to a large supermarket still dressed in your PJ's. you dirty fucking ballox's. we know it's the service industry but come on if you can't find beans in a section that has a sdign beside it that reads "BEANS" please do not leave your house ever. wew hate customers. so I have decided that I would compose a list of things customers should never say to workers in a supermarket.

    1. never take something from the shelf when we are facing off. we need to leave this place at some point in time. we don't come to your office and take your keyboard away when your finishing an email so you can go home.

    2.never walk up to someone and just name a product. you say to me " EGGS" and i'll just turn and say "CHICKEN" sorry I taught we where playing a game. dumb ass

    3. never ask someone. what does this taste like. just cause we work there does not mean we eat all the stuff on the shelves. a good reply would be " shit on a stick" that is what it tastes like.

    4.never take while we try pack out. useing the pharse " it will save you packing out" we hate that. we want to put in on the shelf. we don't walk into a toilet when someone is cleaning the bog and drop a log into the bowl and say " save you cleaning up after "

    5. the golden rule and the one I will leave you with. if you don't want a product. put it back where you found it. don't levae kitten soft in the freezer. we have to put it bcak. it's just lazy . so PUT THE FUCKING thing back where you found it.

    in the end we will always hate customers. you are shit stains in the fabric of life. and what ever happened to please and thank you. you fucking cock suckers. in the end always remember. when you ask us to look out the back for a product that's not on an aisle. we are out the back staring at the wall thinking of telling you to FUCK OFF.

    3 Comments 232 weeks

  • the best quates ever on the deli

    SPUD - "I wouldn't hit a girl, but if i could i would"

    SPUD - " you just can't touch women in night clubs anymore"

    A CONVERSATION ON SPUD PICKING UP WOMEN THAT HE SHOULD NOT

    JAY: spud wat are doing

    SPUD: you don't understand Jay you have never been single.


    JAY - I hate looking at women after you wank. thats sick

    SPUD - my serial killer boots are just for work.

    SPUD - "i would pay money to see a man fuck a dead chicken, but not to stick pudding up his arse. that,s just wrong"

    JAY AND COOKER MADE PACK OUT THE FRUIT AND VEG. JAY STANDING NEXT TO A CRATE OF MUSHROOMS.

    cook - "jay man will they go out"

    jay - " no cook's, there not mushroom" ha ha

    0 Comments 278 weeks

  • drink

    21. "An alcoholic is anyone you don't like who drinks more than you do."
    Dylan Thomas.
    22. "Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."
    Mark Twain.
    23. "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
    Hunter S Thompson.
    24. "I can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver."
    Phil Harris
    25. "My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?"
    Henry Youngman.
    26. "I drink therefore I am."
    WC Fields.
    27. "Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
    Dave Barry.
    28. "Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money."
    Robin Williams.
    29. "Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol."
    NF Simpson.
    30. "I am a drinker with writing problems."
    Brendan Behan.

    0 Comments 318 weeks

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close what will your future job be?

what will your future job be?

My result is: estate agent

you will be a very up market citizen in your future life. you will drive around in a very nice convertable car . . possibly a mercedes if you're lucky and you will gain alot of respect of a lot of people. you will marry a loving man and have many people. just make sure you don't let the love of money take over ur life.
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What Semi-Obscure Simpsons Character Are You?

My result is: Rainier Luftwaffe Wolfcastle AKA "McBain"

Ze goggles! Zey do notheeng!!

Little boys love your action movies. And earlier in your career an entirely different sort of boy loved your early movies.

These days you spend your time between movies binge eating and working out like crazy to make weight for the next Hollywood action movie role.
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Hun or Tim
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  • Mairead Carey
    luv Mairead Carey

    haha never thought of it that way.. dam must put more food in shit then cook it and it wud all taste sexy :L

    8/27/09
  • Mairead Carey
    Mairead Carey

    They were delicious :L :L

    8/24/09
  • Mairead K
    luv Mairead K

    Love you too babes ;)

    8/19/09
  • Mairead Carey
    luv Mairead Carey

    :L :L wots the storeeeeeee?? did ya have a gud nite fri?? aw man i was hammered then went home and got high :L :L wot a nite :D

    8/19/09
  • Jason Joyce
    luv Jason Joyce

    im in a heap!! peace n love xxxxxxxx home 8th of september!!

    8/18/09
  • Gillian Maguire
    Gillian Maguire

    The Tudors is it Oooohhhhh very snazy :) Drop Mr Myres me number will ya :D

    8/14/09
  • Jason Joyce
    luv Jason Joyce

    Alright buddy, yea i was ringin u the see how u were gettin on..bein a gud friend as usual..any crack? how was oxygen,u miss d bus again :L :L ??

    8/13/09
  • Mairead K
    luv Mairead K

    U can never have enough love lol x x x x x

    7/24/09
  • Mairead K
    luv Mairead K

    Love

    7/24/09
  • Caoimhe Joyce
    Caoimhe Joyce

    Did ya like my magic trick on sat nite?? I disappeared haha - so sorry few drinks sunday maybe???

    7/22/09
  • Mairead K
    luv Mairead K

    Love you too x x x x x x x x

    7/7/09
  • Gillian Maguire
    luv Gillian Maguire

    Ya comin out this weekend ??? Haven see ya in AGES !!!!!!

    7/5/09
  • Cooker The Duck
    Cooker The Duck

    I would love it manbut can't afford it at the mo. how the gaa?????

    7/3/09
  • Jason Joyce
    luv Jason Joyce

    Alright fairycake,man its brill over here..would u be interested in comin over??

    7/1/09
  • Mairead K
    luv Mairead K

    Hey babes :) get any work done?? I watched Terminator 1 and 2 lol only one left :) Love u x x x

    6/15/09