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Williamson
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Male,
6
- from Gdansk to see the film
- Profile views: 15,142
- Member since: January 2006
- Last active: 3/18/12
- www.bebo.com/jtngray
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Joke
A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish Garda.
He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer, from
London , and is certain that he has a better education than any paddy
cop.
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Garda's
expense!!
Irish Garda says," License and registration, please."
London Lawyer says, "What for?"
Irish Garda replies, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the Stop
sign."
London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Irish Garda says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop.
License And registration, please."
London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Irish Garda says, "The difference is, you have to come to complete stop,
that's the law. License and registration, please!"
London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between
"slow down" and "stop", I'll give you my license and registration and
you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the
ticket."
Irish Garda says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."
The London lawyer exits his vehicle. The Irish Garda takes out his baton
and starts beating the f*** out of the lawyer with it and says, "Do you
want me to stop, or just slow down?"5 Comments 302 weeks
-
Electric Picnic (3 days condensed into 12 words)
Looks like its down for the day, boy!
At the same time.0 Comments 309 weeks
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Ricky-isms
I toad a so - I told you so.
Worst case Ontario - Worst case scenario.
Dressed all over - All dressed.
Cahaykee - Khaki.
Gorilla see, gorilla do - Monkey see, monkey do.
What goes around's all around - What comes around goes around.
Jahlaapeno's - Jalapeno.
Zesty Mordant - Zesty flavor doritos with the french translation of 'zesty' included.
We can get 2 birds stoned at once - Kill 2 birds with one stone.
Flames golfing here and flames golfing there - Flames engulfing.
Sweet and power chicken - Sweet and sour chicken.
Do you want to get saspirilla? - Salmonella.
'Catch 24' situation - Catch 22.
He passed with flying carpets - flying colors.
Why don't you f*ck off and get some hyposuction - Lyposuction.
Indianapolis Jones - Indiana Jones.
It doesn't take rocket appliances - It doesn't take a rocket scientist.
Peach and cake - Piece of cake.
What Julian grows won't burn him - What Julian doesn't know won't hurt him.0 Comments 320 weeks
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You're my lawyer, so I think you should know I've killed a lot of people. Some escort girls in an apartment uptown, uh, some homeless people, maybe five or ten, an N.Y.U. girl I met in Central Park. I left her at a parking lot behind some doughnut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun. And-And-And then some man, s-s-some old faggot with a dog. Last week, I, uh-- I killed another girl with a chain saw. I had to. She almost got away. And-- Someone else there. I can't remember, maybe a model-- She's dead too. And, uh, Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an ax in the face. His body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't wanna leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe... 20 people. Maybe 40 ! I have tapes of a lot of it. Some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um, I ate some of their brains... and I tried to cook a little. Tonight, I, uh-- I just had to kill a lot of people !