Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a

Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV.


Oh and...... Only in Australia ... can a pizza get to your house faster

than an ambulance.

Only in Australia ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way

to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people

can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries
and a DIET coke.

Only in Australia ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
to the counters.

Only in Australia ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on
the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Australia ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Australia ... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.


NOT TO MENTION...

3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Aussies were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
shirts.

58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Aussies have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.

Aussie Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out
of the soles of their feet.

8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years
after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Aussies were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control
Scalextric cars.

And finally.........

In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
toilet.