How many Students Does It Take To Change a Light Bulb?

Glasgow Uni - Seventy-six - one to change the light bulb, fifty to protest the light bulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold counter protest.

Strathclyde - Five - one to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Scotland using that nuked light bulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch.

Glasgow Caley - Seven - one to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.

Edinburgh - One - he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

St Andrews - Five - one to arrange the party, two to co-ordinate the press, one to call the electrician, and one to get daddy to pay for it all.

Heriot-Watt - Three - one to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.

Napier - Only one, but he gets 10 course credits for it.

Dundee - Ten - one to buy and fit the bulb, and nine to petition for the electrification of Dundee.

Aberdeen - Two - One to change the light bulb and one to crack under the pressure.

Stirling - None - Stirling looks better in the dark.

RSAMD - Five - one to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about it

I became so bored of studying solids and surfaces i started to look up random things you can buy on amazon!

1) Arse Face Soap - once side for you face the other for your arse! for all those slightly OCD people out there

2) Gentlemen's Ball Scratcher - all for just £9.99!

3) Orgasmatron! - lol it exists! but it is a head massager! i was dissapointed too! lol!! but one customer wrote "I bought this product a while ago and have not been able to put it down, It gives me goosebumps every time I use it ..." lol!

4) Willy Care Kit - complete with a Mini Medallion and something called a Fluffing Brush! hmm?

5) Sheep Apron - a picture of a body fucking a sheep! rather amusing!

6) Borat Mankini Thong - yes you can buy them! and for under a fiver as well! its a bargin!

7)Arse/Face Towel - similar idea to the soap!

USB Humping Dog - "Just plug it in and watch in amazement as he humps your PC" how very pointless! but you can get it in an array of colours and breeds!

9)Cat bum pencil sharpener - stick a pencil up a cats arse it meows and it sharpens your pencil! wow!

10) Dead Fred Pen Holder - a dead body you can stick your pen into! also avaliable is a spattered body which acts as a coaster!

11) Test Your Cat: The Cat IQ Test - why oh why would anyone buy this?

12) Banana Guard - yes a plastic casing to protect you banana! this is a classic example of people solving a problem that does not exist!

13) A Sheep Tabletop Vacuum Cleaner - move it along your table and it sucks up all the crumbs! avaliable as a cat, a dog, a pig, an elephant, a duck and a cow! just incase you dont like sheep!

14) Perfect Soldiers - makes even-sized toast soldiers! I mean really how lazy can some people get?

15) Shewee - we all love them! enables women to "Stand up at public toilets to avoid unhygienic seats and smelly portable loos " also avaliable is a Shewee Extension Pipe and a Absorbant Pouch (just incase you don't want to use a toliet! you can now piss in a bag!)



Well that was amusing! I just thought i would share my procrastination with the world! :-) If you find any more please share! :-)

I think we are all happy that Obama was elected the new President of the USA.

However I can't help but feel that today is the an end of an Era!
No longer can we look at the American president and laugh at his sheer stupidity! No longer can one make Bush/Chimp Jokes and no longer will we get "Bushisms"

Here are some of the best "Bushisms"! (Which I have stolen!)
Let us read them and laugh at the joy that Bush has brought us over the last Eight years! (My personal Favorite is number 5!)


20. "Those who enter the country illegally violate the law." - (Nov. 28, 2005)

19. "We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans." - (Sept. 6, 2000)

18. "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." - (Dec. 19, 2000)

17. "Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness." - (Aug. 30, 2000)

16. "I think we agree, the past is over." - (May 10, 2000)

15. "I understand small business growth. I was one." - (Feb. 19, 2000)

14. "This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating." - (April 23, 2002)

13. "I want everybody to hear loud and clear that I'm going to be the president of everybody." - (Jan. 18, 2001)

12. "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." - (Jan. 3, 2000)

11. "I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will." - (Oct. 5, 2002)

10. "I just want you to know that when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace." - (June 18, 2002)

9. "I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." - (May 25, 2004)

8. "I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society." - (Aug. 13, 2002)

7. "There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." - (Sept. 17, 2002)

6. "The truth of that matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power if he were the president of the United States, and the world would be a lot better off." - (Oct. 8, 2004)

5. "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." - (Sept. 29, 2000)

4. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - (Aug. 5, 2004)

3. "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" - (Jan. 11, 2000)

2. "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." - (Jan. 27, 2000)

1. "They misunderestimated me." - (Nov. 6, 2000)