NASTy JOKE
Okay so a guy is
near the
end of his
senior
year in high school.
Unfortunately,
he still has to share a room with his
younger
brother who is only 9
years
old.

One night, he decides to bring his
girlfriend home
for a little fun.
They
have bunk beds and the guy notices that
his little
brother is already
asleep
on the lower bunk, so he and his
girlfriend climb
up
to the top bunk.

As you
might expect things start to heat up.
The guy remembers that his little brother
is
sleeping below so he tells
his
girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants
it
harder and "tomato" if
she
wants a new position.







Lettuce!!!







Tomato!!!







Lettuce!!!







Tomato!!!







Lettuce!!!







Tomato!!!





She screams.







Lettuce!!!







Tomato!!!




Whoa!!!





PULL IT OUT!!!





PULL IT OUT NOW!!!





I can't get pregnant!



Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey,
would you
guys stop making
sandwiches up there! You're getting
mayonnaise
all over my
face!*!*!*!*!

2008 CARDINALS SCHEDULE

2008 Schedule
March
3/31--vs. Colorado

April
4/1--Off day
4/2--vs. Colorado
4/3--vs. Colorado
4/4
4/5
4/6
4/7--at Houston
4/8--at Houston
4/9--at Houston
4/10--at San Fransisco or at Arizona
4/11--at San Fransisco or at Arizona
4/12--at San Fransisco or at Arizona
4/13--at San Fransisco or at Arizona
4/14--off day
4/15--vs. Milwaukee
4/16--vs. Milwaukee
4/17--vs. Milwaukee
4/18
4/19
4/20
4/21--at Milwaukee
4/22--at Milwaukee
4/23--at Pittsburgh 6:05
4/24--at Pittsburgh 6:05
4/25--vs Houston
4/26--vs Houston
4/27--vs Houston
4/28
4/29
4/30

May
5/1
5/2--vs. Chicago
5/3--vs. Chicago
5/4--vs. Chicago
5/5--at Colorado
5/6--at Colorado
5/7--at Colorado
5/8--at Colorado
5/9--at Milwaukee
5/10--at Milwaukee
5/11--at Milwaukee
5/12--at Milwaukee
5/13--vs. Pittsburgh
5/14--vs. Pittsburgh
5/15--vs. Pittsburgh
5/16--vs. Tampa Bay
5/17--vs. Tampa Bay
5/18--vs. Tampa Bay
5/19--at San Diego
5/20--at San Diego
5/21--at San Diego
5/22--off day
5/23--at Los Angeles
5/24--at Los Angeles
5/25--at Los Angeles
5/26--off day
5/27--vs. Houston
5/28--vs. Houston
5/29--vs. Houston
5/30--vs. Pittsburgh
5/31--vs. Pittsburgh

June
6/1--vs. Pittsburgh
6/2--vs. Pittsburgh
6/3
6/4
6/5
6/6--at Houston
6/7--at Houston
6/8--at Houston
6/9--off day
6/10--at Cincinnati
6/11--at Cincinnati
6/12--at Cincinnati
6/13--vs. Philadelphia
6/14--vs. Philadelphia
6/15--vs. Philadelphia
6/16--off day
6/17--vs. Kansas City
6/18--vs. Kansas City
6/19--vs. Kansas City
6/20--at Boston
6/21--at Boston
6/22--at Boston
6/23--off day
6/24--at Detroit 7:05
6/25--at Detroit TBD
6/26--at Detroit 1:05
6/27--at Kansas City
6/28--at Kansas City
6/29--at Kansas City
6/30--off day

July
7/1--vs. NY Mets
7/2--vs. NY Mets
7/3--vs. NY Mets
7/4--vs. Chicago
7/5--vs. Chicago
7/6--vs. Chicago
7/7--off day
7/8--at Philadelphia
7/9--at Philadelphia
7/10--at Philadelphia
7/11--at Pittsburgh 6:05
7/12--at Pittsburgh 6:05
7/13--at Pittsburgh 12:35
7/14--All Star Break
7/15--All Star Game at New York
7/16--All Star Break
7/17--vs. San Diego
7/18--vs. San Diego
7/19--vs. San Diego
7/20--vs. San Diego
7/21--off day
7/22--vs. Milwaukee
7/23--vs. Milwaukee
7/24--vs. Milwaukee
7/25--at NY Mets
7/26--at NY Mets
7/27--at NY Mets
7/28--at Atlanta
7/29--at Atlanta
7/30--at Atlanta
7/31--at Atlanta

August
8/1
8/2
8/3
8/4--vs. Los Angeles 7:10
8/5--vs. Los Angeles 7:10
8/6--vs. Los Angeles 7:10
8/7--off day
8/8--at Chicago
8/9--at Chicago
8/10--at Chicago
8/11--at Florida
8/12--at Florida
8/13--at Florida
8/14--at Florida
8/15--at Cincinnati
8/16--at Cincinnati
8/17--at Cincinnati
8/18--off day
8/19--vs. Pittsburgh
8/20--vs. Pittsburgh
8/21--off day
8/22--vs. Atlanta
8/23--vs. Atlanta
8/24--vs. Atlanta
8/25--vs. Milwaukee 7:10
8/26--vs. Milwaukee 7:10
8/27--vs. Milwaukee 7:10
8/28--off day
8/29--at Houston
8/30--at Houston
8/31--at Houston

September
9/1--at Arizona
9/2--at Arizona
9/3--at Arizona
9/4
9/5
9/6
9/7
9/8
9/9--vs. Chicago
9/10--vs. Chicago
9/11--vs. Chicago
9/12--at Pittsburgh 6:05
9/13--at Pittsburgh 6:05
9/14--at Pittsburgh 12:05
9/15--off day
9/16--at Cincinnati
9/17--at Cincinnati
9/18--at Cincinnati
9/19--at Chicago
9/20--at Chicago
9/21--at Chicago
9/22--vs. Arizona
9/23--vs. Arizona
9/24--vs. Arizona
9/25--vs. Arizona
9/26
9/27
9/28

The virgin girl is on the phone and asks her boyfriend to come

over and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a

big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that

after dinner, she would like to go out and make love

for the first time.

* * * * * * * * *

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex

before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get

some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and

the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and

sex.

* * * * * * * * *

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many

condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family

pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he

thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

* * * * * * * * *

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents

house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm

so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

* * * * * * * * *

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table

where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly

offers to say grace and bows his head.

* * * * * * * * *

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,

with his head down.

* * * * * * * * *

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

* * * * * * * * *

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the

girlfriend leans over and whispers to the

boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

* * * * * * * *

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your

father was a pharmacist."

* * * * * * * * *

If you DON'T re-post this in 1 minute you will

have bad sex for life!!!



&while i'm at it.


Because u opened this, u will get kissed on friday by

the person u luv!! & 2morrow will be da best day of ur life, so

DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN!!!!!! IF U BREAK IT, U WILL HAVE

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS!!!!!!!!

Repost this as : : A VIRGIN JOKE