1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"

2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."

3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."

4. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.

5. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.

6. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."

7. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"

8. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.

9. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.

10. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue! "

11. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN! "

12. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.

13. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"

14. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.

15. Start an Orc sing-a-long.

16. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.

17. When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"

18. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.

19. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.

20. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.

21. When Shelob (spider) comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's really let herself go! "

22. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, “Wait… where the hell is Harry Potter?”

Pursue at your leisure, English lovers. Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (surprise!).

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose two geese, so one moose, two meese? Doesn't it seem crazy, that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

Not sure what to do in a blog so i decided to just put some random crap that i did today in:
JAM
This is allllllls about jam. Jam is nise and lovely. I <3 jams. But I do not like it with bread, it is not nise but I do like it on its own I eats it straight from the pot and it is nise and if feels gooooood. I knows a good story about jams and this is it:
Bill once brought some Jams into school one day and then he started eating it, and with my help we managed to eats a WHOLE pots of jams. It was nise that day.
Jams is made form strawberries mostly but can be made from other such substances, which are alsos quite nise but not as good as strawberries jams.
Jams is also stickey as I found out from my days of eating jams but it is worth it for the goods taste I get from it. It is a bit like honeys because I likes it and its all stickey. Strawsberries jams is genraly red but some other types may be other colours.

XD me = special