Q: How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One.

Q: How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I don't know, but I can look it up for you.

Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three, but they're really only one.


Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: A tree in a golden forest.

Q: How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Hmmm... well there's an interesting question isn't it ?
A: Three. One to change it and two to stand around arguing over
whether or not the lightbulb exists.
A: Define "lightbulb".................

Q: How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. We embrace the darkness.

Q: How many punk rockers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two: One to screw in the bulb and the other to smash the old one on
his forehead.

Q: How many terrorists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to change the bulb, and 5 to take the credit when it explodes.

Q: How many seventies disco dancers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to boogie up the ladder and one to say "Get daaowwwwn !"

Q: How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's a military secret.

Q: How many singer-songwriters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. They hold the bulb and the world revolves around them.

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it
a surprising twist at the end.

Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

Greetings and welcome to the first monthly Horse Face GIGFLASH.
There’s much craic brewing in the Horse Face Pipes. There are host of gigs on the horizon, with quality oral candy to suits all ears, ranging from Doom Metal to die to, right through to acoustic buckleyesque songsmiths that your dear granny will find quite charming.
NEWS
We have three residencies, two annual festivals and a myriad of one off gigs here and there...
• BUNKER METAL on the last Wednesday of the month from 7-30 till 10-30. The inaugural show will feature OZZMIUM, NIYAH SKY and OF ONE BLOOD.
• ALT. ALT. A showcase of truly original bands on the second Thursday of the month at the Pavilion, Belfast.
• Basement Jacks Underground - A bi-monthly rock and roll party in Basement Jacks, under Walsh’s Hotel, Maghera.
We are also pleased to announce that entries are open for the N.I. Battle of the Bands. 6 weeks, 20 bands and £1000. The first heat kicks off on June 25th and it all goes from there... The competition is open to bands and solo artists of all genres and ages, provided they are N.I. Based. Bands should send a press pack (demo, short bio, reviews, photos) to: Horse Face Promotions, 3 Cadogan Street, Belfast, BT7 1QW for details see http://www.myspace.com/nibattleofthe... or email horse_face@live.co.uk
After our highly successful and rather fun first go, we are gearing up for our second annual Autumnatic Music Festival, an all day extravaganza of the cream of Irish Rock and Roll. For details and gossip see http://www.myspace.com/autumnaticfes...
And for all you lovely hairy metal heads, we are pleased to present the EASTER OVERLOAD – Mini Metalfest. We have tracked down some of Northern Ireland's best metal exports for your moshing pleasure, along with some rising talent. The eight band night of metal madness will kick off at 6 p.m at the Rosetta Bar, Belfast on April 11th. Featuring Overoth, Sorrowfall, Sinocence, Residual Effect, Ozzmuim, Mental Deficiency and Forced Out Vision plus a surprise novelty act! All for a £6. We know your, robbing us!
The Horse Face Cavalry – Anyone interested in joining our stealthy street team, doing some poster art, photography at gigs, helping out at festivals, etc. and drop us a line with ‘Cavalry’ in the subject area.
FREE STUFF! –We are giving away a free pass to each of our gigs! Cuz your all so lovely...Just email us back with ‘competition’ in the subject field, and specify which gig you want to enter for. Good Luck!
MARCH GIGS

12/03 – Alt. Alt. Featuring Redlight+Mental Deficiency+Angus – Pavilion Bar, Belfast. Doors at 9. Tax £4.
17/03 – ST. Paddies Classic Irish Rock Night – Recreating the sounds of Rory Gallagher, Thin Lizzy, The Horslips, etc. Featuring Bandwagon and The Dead Presidents – Lavery’s Attic, Belfast. The fun starts at 8 p.m. Doors a gift at £3.
20/03 – Basement Jacks Featuring - Here Comes The Landed Gentry+Electric Circus+Jack Change It+JASSE+Elle How – Walshe’s Hotel, Maghera. Doors at 8. Tax £5.
25/03 – Bunker Metal Featuring- Ozzmium+Niyah Sky+Of One Blood – Lavery’s Bunker, Belfast. Doors at 7-30. Tax £4.
Coming up in April....
9/04 – Showcase of Female Vocalists featuring – Kitty and the Can Openers +Cara Cowen+Oonaugh Clark+V-Cappella+Elle How - The Pavilion Bar, Belfast. Doors at 9. Tax £5.
11/04 – EASTER OVERLOAD BABY! The madness kicks off at 6 p.m. at the Rosetta Bar, Belfast.
16/04 – Classic Rock Showcase - Jaded Sun +In The Name Of + Electric Circus + Bandwagon – The Menagerie, Belfast. Doors at 8. Tax £4.
And much much more.......But that’s another spam, for another day....
For bookings, press enquires or questions feel free to email us at horse_face@live.co.uk
Best,
The HorseFace Team
Join us! – www.myspace.com/horsefacepromotions

Banjo+jembe+3 guitars+one man samba band+rock drums+trumpet+female vocals+crazy tuned percusion =


PROJECT X - An adventure in musical anarchy

You are invited to the Oh Yeah Centre's end of year party featuring the 8 strong Project X experimental alternative funk band.(Say that 3 times fast!)



Sunday, December 14th at 7:00

ALSO FEATURING :

Visuals by BANDWIDTH FILMS

Albrecht's Pencil - Existential Alt.Rock featuring 2 music students and over 5 instruments

V-Capella - The girl with the golden pipes - Blues funk Vocals

The Belfast Samba School

The Northern Irish Music Photography WALL OF FAME

Malachy Costello, Lorcan Falls, Mano Neto and more


Hosted by the Oh Yeah Centre, Gordon Street. Just up the road from the Mynt or down from The Black Box. It's also your chance to have a look around the converted warehouse that is becomeing the physical hub of N.I 's music industry.

B.Y.O. Drinks

RSVP AND WE'LL PUT YOUR NAME ON THE DOOR

FEEL FREE TO FORWARD TO ANY MUSICALY MINDED FRIENDS