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- How well do you know Paul? 48 Taken
Any given Sunday
Don't know what to say really. Three minutes till the biggest battle of our professional lives. It all comes down to today. Now either we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble. Inch by inch, play by play, till we're finished. We're in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb out of hell. One inch at a time.
Now I can't do it for you. I'm too old. I look around, I see these young faces, and I think... I mean I've made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who's ever loved me, and lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror. You know when you get old in life, things get taken from you. That's part of life. But you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out life's this game of inches. And so is football. Because in either game, life or football, the margin for error is so small. I mean... one half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One half second too slow too fast, you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They are in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team, we fight for that inch. On this team, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when we add up all those inches, that's gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying! I'll tell you this - in any fight, its the guy whose willing to die who's gonna win that inch. And I know if I'm going to have any life anymore, it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch. Because that's what living is! The 6 inches in front of your face...
Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think you're gonna see a guy who will go that inch with you. You're gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team, because he knows when it comes down to it, you're gonna do the same for him.
That's a team, gentlemen. And either we heal, now, as a team, or we will die, as individuals. That's football, guys. That's all it is. Now, what are you going to do?
2 Comments 357 weeks
SYMPTOM: Pint appears to be crystal clear...
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him/her.
SYMPTOM: Don't recognise anyone, don't even recognise the room you're in.
FAULT: Don't panic - you've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they've any free pints anyhow.
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest pet dog, complain about how house training has "gone to the dogs nowadays".
SYMPTOM: Pint appears unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to get you another pint.
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You've fallen over backwards.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar counter.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains fag-ends.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.
SYMPTOM: Beer tastes tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to loo, practise in mirror.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurry.
FAULT: You're looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to get you another pint.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another pub/party
SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed, have yez no homes to go to
ACTION: Confirm home address with barman, grab taxi home.
SYMPTOM: Taxi's interior suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.
SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on a table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.
SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear though.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologise to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: That lager is too weak.
ACTION: Have more drink until your voice improves.
SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.
SYMPTOM: Ugly woman/man in your sights.
FAULT: Insufficient beer intake.
ACTION: Up dosage immediately.
SYMPTOM: Shins and toes hurt.
FAULT: You've been walking into things.
ACTION: Maintain dosage.
SYMPTOM: Squishy feeling in the hands.
FAULT: You have grabbed hold of a woman's breasts.
ACTION: Duck to avoid boyfriend's fist.
SYMPTOM: Bed is bumping around.
FAULT: Taking an ambulance ride.
ACTION: It's too late, you made complete arsehole of self.
0 Comments 369 weeks
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