This blog aims to point out the typical cliches about the Scottish people, through the eyes of the Scots, without taking things too seriously. Vive la difference!

Please add more stuff to this list of typical Scottish behaviour in the discussion topic and It'll be added...

You know you're from Scotland when....

1. T in the Park is, in your opinion, the best summer music festival.


2. You say "cheers" or "ta" instead of thanks.

3. You love Irn-Bru and can't understand people that say it's sickly sweet fizz with bright artificial colouring. It's also the best hangover cure you believe.

4. You wear nothing under your kilt and if people don't believe you...wooft, you flash them and say "See, I wisnae talking shite"!

5. "Scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine and a cold northerly wind" is good weather!


5. You have encountered Neds. They are usually in groups of about 10-20 and call themselves "Teams or Fleetos". They are all weak and only "fight" in groups and by "fight" i mean "slashing or "chibbing".

7. What you call a suntan is what other people call sunburnt (except for those lucky Scots who haven't been blessed with peely wally skin)

8. The only sausage you like is "square".

9. You call New Year's Eve "Hogmanay" and don't seem to think 2 days national holiday is long enough to recover from the partying!

10. Haggis is a tasty national dish not a glorified sheep's stomach filled with random minced organs and oats.

11. Sean Connery was the best James Bond.

12. You point out to foreigners that actually only some people have ginger hair in Scotland, not everyone.

13. You know fried Mars bars are only available in touristy places and nobody actually eats them. Whatsmore if you asked your local chippy to do it you would get this response: "Ken what pal, I'll do it but if my fryer breaks down you are paying me £5,000 sunshine".


14. You know a wide vocabulary of random Scottish words - an idiot is "a numpty". "Aye"- yes. "Aye Right"-not likely. "Atspish"- that's not good. "Auldjin"- someone over 40. "Baltic"-freezing. "bawbag"-useless person. "Hoaching" - full (as in a room)."Dry Boak"-sickened. etc

15. You have tried or seen empty green bottles of the stuff in the street, the mighty Buckie/Buckfast tonic wine!


16. You used to love destroying your teeth when you were young; Buchanan's toffees, wham bars, tablet, Irn-Bru bars, Cola Cubes, etc

17. You know Tennent's Lager isnae the best beer in the world but you still order it because it's Scottish and relatively cheap!


18.You know that Scotland will never actually win the football World Cup, but keep partying anyway!

19. You will happily throw your rubbish on the street if there is no bin within 5 yards of you or throw your rubbish out your car window while driving.

20.You have been accused of being from England while you are on holiday abroad. Repeatedly. And If one more person calls you English your going to kick him or her in the jaxie!

21. You would rather stand up on the bus for an hour than bother the person whose handbag is currently occupying the last available seat.

22. You feel bad if you're not outside on a sunny day.

23. You attempt to use your legal tender Scottish Pound notes in England and then have to argue for 5 minutes to make them accept it or just walk out of a shop in disgust etc.

24. You were given an Oor Wullie or Broons Annual at Christmas.

25.You can go to University for free!

26. Girls are called "burds" e.g How's things going with the burd? Wheresawra burds?

27. You see police and hear someone shout "Errrapolis".

28. You have participated in or witnessed people having a "square go".

29. You know that when someone asks you which school you went to, they actually want to know if you're a protestant or a catholic.

30. You have laughed at Still Game, Chewing the Fat or some other BBC Scotland comedy and...you don't need subtitles to underst

1. FULL NAME: Alan Westgarth
2. NICKNAMES: Mad, Mad Al, Snowflake, Westgarth ya tool!!
3. BIRTHDAY: 30th October 1987
4. PLACE OF BIRTH: Dunfermline
5. ZODIAC SIGN: Scorpio
6. MALE OR FEMALE: Male
7. GRADE: Left in 6th year
8. SCHOOL: The Gordon Schools Huntly and Queen Anne High School
9. OCCUPATION: Land Surveyor
10.RESIDENCE: Dunfermline
11.MSN SCREEN NAME: canny mind!

___YOUR APPEARANCE___

12. HAIR COLOUR: Black
13. HAIR LENGTH: Short
14. EYE COLOUR: Brown
15. WEIGHT: About 10st)
16. HEIGHT: 5.9ft
17. BRACES?: Nope
18. GLASSES?: Nope
19. PIERCINGS: Nope
20. TATTOOS: Nope an never will!
21. RIGHTY OR LEFTY: Ambidexturous

___YOUR 'FIRST'S'___

22. FIRST BEST FRIEND: Sam
23. FIRST AWARD: Shotokan Karate Sparring Champion of Scotland (Came 3rd in the doubles Kata comp aswell)
24. FIRST SPORT: Football, now rugby!
25. FIRST PET: A cat called Pie
26. FIRST REAL HOLIDAY: Tenerife 2007
27. FIRST CONCERT: Runrig
28. FIRST LOVE: Was the hardest...still is!!

___FAVOURITES___

29. MOVIES: too many, sum in ma profile
30. TV PROGRAMME: Stargate (geek i know)
31. COLOUR: Purple
32. RAPPER: Mike Skinner
33. BAND: The Jam
34. SONG RIGHT NOW: Rage Agains The Machine – Township Rebellion
35. FRIENDS: Slow Low an Big Crow + a few others!
36. SWEET: Boosts
37. SPORT TO PLAY: Rugby
38. RESTAURANT: The Hideaway
39. FAVOURITE BRAND: Nike, Next, RiveriIsland
40. STORE: Tescos
41. SCHOOL SUBJECT: Computing & Maths
42. ANIMAL: My cat Pie, the wee bastard is still alive! Get in!!!!
43. BOOK: Tom Sharp – Vintage Stuff
44. MAGAZINE: Nuts, Zoo
45. SHOES: Trainers!

___CURRENTLY___

46. FEELING: Shattered coz i just work a nightshift
47. SINGLE OR TAKEN: Single
48. HAVE A CRUSH?: Suppose yeh
49. EATING: Crisps
50. DRINKING: Red Wine
51. TYPING: This shit!!
52. ONLINE: Aye
53. LISTENING TO: Rage Against The Machine
54. THINKING ABOUT: Sleeping
55. WANTING TO: Sleep
56. WATCHING: A computer screen!
57. WEARING: Nuthing im in bed!!

___YOUR FUTURE___

58. WANT KIDS?: Aye, when i can learn to put up wit them!
59. WANT TO GET MARRIED?: Duno, dnt think it will happen!
60. CAREERS IN MIND?: Surveying/Engineering
61. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?: Somewhere hot
62. CAR: Porche

___WHICH IS BEST WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?___

63. HAIR COLOUR: Redhead
64. HAIR LENGTH: Short
65. EYE COLOUR: Dont mind as long as there nice!
66. MEASUREMENTS: 4ft 5?!?! I dunno, does just nice count?
67. CUTE OR SEXY?: Bit a Both
68. LIPS OR EYES?: Lips, for kissing!!
69. HUGS OR KISSES: kisses...
70. SHORT OR TALL: About 5ft 5”
71. EASYGOING OR SERIOUS: Easygoing!!!!
72. ROMANTIC OR SPONTANEOUS: Spontaneous!
73. FATTY OR SKINNY?: A bit i cushion, for the pushin!
74. SENSITIVE OR LOUD?: Sensitive to an extent
75. HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP: Hook-up... relationships dont work with me!
76. SWEET OR CARING?: Sweet
77. TROUBLE MAKER OR HESTITANT ONE?: Trouble Maker

___HAVE YOU EVER...___

78. KISSED A STRANGER: Aye
79. HAD ALCOHOL: Aye
80. SMOKED: Aye
81. RAN AWAY FROM HOME: Nope
82. BROKEN A BONE: Yup one or two! lol
83. GOT AN X-RAY: Yup too many
84. BEEN WITH SOMEONE: mmm........Aye
85. BROKEN SOMEONE: yeh into a million bits!?!?! Daft Qu.
86. BROKEN UP WITH SOMEONE: Aye
87. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: Aye
88. CRIED AT SCHOOL: In private

_____DO YOU BELIEVE IN...___

89. GOD: Not in the religious sense!
90. MIRACLES: yeh i am a miracle
91. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Aye
92. GHOSTS: nope
93. ALIENS: oh Aye
94. SOUL MATES: Aye
95. HEAVEN: Not in the religious sense!
96. HELL: Not in the religious sense!
97. ANGELS: Nope
98. KISSING ON THE FIRST DATE: If the mood is right.
99. HOROSCOPES: Nope but i still read em!

___Answer Truthfully___
100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can't Have? well....... aye!!

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1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "that's mine!"

4) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

5) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

6) Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.

7) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while