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26 ways tomake a woman smile
When she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better"
this
will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.

2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of
weakness.
or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until
she
cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you
are.)

3. once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over.girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.

4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping.
if
she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until
morning.
this will show her you care.
5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it
might be
her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal
improvement.
and every girl needs some improvement.

6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.
then
when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them.
because jewelry is for pus*sies and Asian ladies.

7. if youre talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When
she
is, stare into her eyes mouth the words @#%$ you and grab the
other
girls as*s. Girls love competition.

8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so
she
thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a
burning
tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just
kidding
and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her
home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something
likethat lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because
i
can."

9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love
those
special nicknames.

10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.

11. warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your
jacket...
then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eye and say "if
you
don't stop bi*tching about the cold right now you're going to be
bitching about a black eye." the best way to get warm is with
fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there shell have to go to
the
bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right
when the
partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you
at
the party.

13. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small
pet.
kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn't
girls?

14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep,
wait 10
minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes
home
and you can use your arms for more important things. like
basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. if you care about her never ever tell her. this will only
give her
self confidence. then you can never turn her into the object she
deep
down desires to be.

17. Every time youre in her house steal one of the following:
shoes,
earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of
the
pair. This way shell go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order
interrupt
and say no shes not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a
guy
that speaks for her.

19. look her in the eyes and smile. then clock her one. girls
love a
spontaneous guy.

20. give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your
smell
on it. but not a se*xy cologne smell. a bad smell. you know what
i'm
talking about.

21. When its raining keep asking her if shes crying. Shell say no
its
just the rain ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at
her to
stop crying you @#%$ baby. Girls like a tough man as i've already
stated.

22. Ti*tty twisters and plenty of them.

23. if youre listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell
her no.
this way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her
material objects arent important. The only thing thats important
is
that she