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- Me, Myself, and I
- SEX, DRUGS AND SAUSAGE ROLLS!!!
"FUN HOUSE, IT'S A WHOLE LOT OF FUN, PRIZES TO BE WON, IT'S A REAL CRAZY SHOW WHERE ANYTHING CAN GO"!!!
I think the above is right... ages ago that was.
Aright... Im Jordan,
Lived in Arbroath all my life, keep seeing people I know call it the "mighty Broath" I have a differing opinion "mighty shitey Broath" <--- a little more acurate.
A bit about me I suppose, Im 6ft 2 or 3 dont really know, Brown hair and brown eyes, slim but athletic (emphasise on slim), fuck I sound boring,
Im not very good at replying to people... still trying to figure out what the the hell the first person to milk a cow was doing!!! come on im sexually depraved but thats taking the piss!!!
still no hypothisis as of yet
and oh, by the way I wish I was one of those muslim women so I could look like a ninja too!!!
- Usual Suspects, Reservoir Dogs, The Business, All Star Wars, The Breakfast Club, All Monty Python, Full Metal Jacket, 300, Transformers
- Football- Rangers, Arbroath, Nottingham Forest and of course Scotland:
Ice Hockey- NY Rangers
- Jack D's and any lager, and any spirits and anything with alcohol in it. Alcoholic you ask... not yet, well its just like work to me you always need one day off a week.
- Happiest When
- Drinkin Loads, Sleeping Loads and chillin with the boys
- Scared Of
- Marmite, Seafood, Swans & The Death Star
- Childhood Favourites
- Thundercats, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (If you went to Muirfield you might remember Dale Connor as "April O'Neil" Ha Ha, Banana Man, Captain Planet, Fun House (I loved those twins, bet big Pat Sharpe was baw deep in them every night) Biker Mice from Mars and of course He-man.
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The Speed Ticket
A police officer pulled a guy over for speeding.
Officer: May I see your drivers license?
Driver: I dont have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owners card for this vehicle?
Driver: Its not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: Thats right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owners card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: Theres a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. Thats where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: Theres a BODY in the TRUNK???
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Whos car is this?
Driver: Its mine, officer. Heres the owner card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if theres a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but theres no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said theres a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I dont understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didnt have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, Ill bet the lying son of a bitch told you I was speeding, too.
1 Comment 313 weeks
107 Trophies thats a world record
European Cup Winners Cup
Scottish League Champions (51) WORLD RECORD
1891, 1899, 1900, 1901, 1902, 1911, 1912, 1913, 1918, 1920, 1921, 1923, 1924, 1925, 1927, 1928, 1929, 1930, 1931, 1933, 1934, 1935, 1937, 1939, 1947, 1949, 1950, 1953, 1956, 1957, 1959, 1961, 1963, 1964, 1975, 1976, 1978, 1987, 1989, 1990, 1991, 1992, 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997, 1999, 2000, 2003, 2005
Scottish Cup Winners (31)
1894, 1897, 1898, 1903, 1928, 1930, 1932, 1934, 1935, 1936, 1948, 1949, 1950, 1953, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1964, 1966, 1973, 1976, 1978, 1979, 1981, 1992, 1993, 1996, 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003
Scottish League Cup Winners (24)
1946, 1948, 1960, 1961, 1963, 1964, 1970, 1975, 1977, 1978, 1981, 1983, 1984, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1990, 1992, 1993, 1996, 1998, 2002, 2003, 2004
1 Comment 315 weeks
0 Comments 315 weeks
- Yeah, (If you press this link you'll probably get it wrong) ---->
- Yeah, but end up fat as fuck
- Yeah, Because I smoke 20 pure green joints a day to compansate it
- No, Buckle under the enormous pressure and waste days of what could have been, joyful smoking!
- No chance a tall!