Right, guys.. here's the deal with sayings. .
First of all, "money doesn't buy happiness" .. What?! WHAAT? How would you feel if you got kicked out of your house and made to live on the streets, sleeping with horrible people for money so that you can buy a cup a soup from tesco every night as your only food, with no friends cause you smell and don't go to school (you have no money remember). That sounds like the god damn happiest thing EVER!
And "whoever said nothing's impossible never tried to slam a revolving door". How would you feel if I pushed a revolving door really really fast and hard into your face, and you try to tell the police "ohh ohhh she slammed it in my face" but the police just tut at you and let me off with just a warning. Did I just prove the impossible? Or did I just prove that you're an idiot?

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man. If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Jack Bauer once double teamed a girl.......by himself.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

The childrens game Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.

If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.

Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life?

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".

In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.

Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the ..5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.

If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever.

Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.

Jack Bauer has shot more men in the face than Elton John.

What color is Ja

one: Put your music player on shuffle.
two: Post the first line from the first 30 songs that play.
three: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
(:

1. Truth be told, the truth be told, I'm worried what the future holds, the future holds.
2. The morning paper, look in the mirror, on your key chain, or in the coffee spoon.
3. I don't want to be the girl who laughs the loudest, or the girl who never wants to be alone.
4. Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me.
5. A kiss on the hand may be quite continental, but daimonds are a girls best friend.
6. I hear the drums echoing tonight but she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation.
7. What a drag it is, the shape i'm in. Well I go out somewhere then I come home again.
8. First time that I saw your eyes, boy you looked right through me, mm mmm.
9. I used to rule the world, seas would rise when I gave the word.
10. I'll show you what it takes to feed my mind while you go through reading all my signs.
11. Save some face, you know you've only got one. Change your ways while you're young.
12. I was cheated by you, and I think you know when.
13. I found a switch. I turned it on. I hit the ditch. You carried on.
14. I'll sing it one last time for you, then I really have to go.
15. I found god on the corner of 1st and Amistad.
16. Lets talk this over. Its not like we're dead.
17. There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard.
18. There's so much craziness surrounding me.
19. How can I decide what's right, when your clouding up my mind.
20. Meet you downstairs in the bar and heard your rolled up sleeves and your skull t shirt.
21. I'm holding on your rope, got me 10 feet off the ground.
22. I ain't got no money. I ain't got no car to take you on a date.
23. The heart is a bloom, shoots up through the stoney ground.
24. When she was 22, her future looked bright.
25. Half past 8 and your late, coffee's cold, what a state they've dragged you down.
26. Never made it as a wise man, I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing.
27. Read my lips, I'm into you, I'm into you.
28. Head underwater and they tell me to breath easy for a while.
29. Oh he treats me with respect, he says he loves me all the time.
30. My gift is my song, and this one's for you.