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Luca Toni

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  • Male, 23, Luv 99
  • from wormit (the motherland)
  • Profile views: 14,318
  • Member since: October 2005
  • Last active: 2/23/11
  • www.bebo.com/DoYouRemember5
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About Me

Me, Myself, and I
WORMIT MAFIA. Tick, tick BOOM.

"The Pikeys have lights!?!" -Charlotte (racial hatred) Haverman

Glesga!
The Other Half Of Me
Iain Sutherland

Iain Sutherland

we share THE best pro. ev. match's ever!!

Music
Just a few...Van Morrison, Husker Du, The Beatles, The Byrds, MBV, The Band, Marah, The Smiths, Joanna Newsom, Nina Nastasia, The Doors, The Only Ones, The Stone Roses, Buffalo Springfield, Stephen Stills...
Sports
football (hibs)! need there be another sport?

yes...tennis and golf
Magic Mix
made by me and hazel. may consist of anything from vodka, orange juice, gin, whiskey, coke, wine, beer, tequila....
Due South
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The Doors - Break On Through (Isle of Wight Track)

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  • i was sent this. ITS ALL LIES!!!

    Not one to share with young kids......


    There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world.

    However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau).

    At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

    Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical).

    This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

    Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are not talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

    This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second - 3,000 times the speed of sound.

    For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

    The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself.

    On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -Santa would need 360,000 of them.

    This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

    A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere.

    The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

    The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reaches the fifth house on his trip.

    Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's.

    A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

    Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.


    MERRY CHISTMAS!!!

    13 Comments 397 weeks

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  • Charlotte Haverman
    luv Charlotte Haverman

    meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

    3/10/12
  • Cordelia Leazer 8/23/11 via Mobile
  • Francesca Azim
    Francesca Azim

    heyyy whats up likeness of a man. And every one had four faces a

    8/23/11 via Mobile
  • Deidra Philibert

    How can the do this for free? http://tinyurl.com/3plxqnb

    8/13/11 via Mobile
  • Claire
    Claire

    Sooo were you a hairy baby?? X

    3/9/09
  • Niamh.
    Niamh.

    hey! I have good news!! I have drawn a line under my absolutely shite music taste and am now listnening to good music!!! woo!! howya?? xxx

    2/20/09
  • Niamh.
    luv Niamh.

    hey star trek wannabe

    1/26/09
  • James Calderwood

    thought you might have appreciated that one hahah!! thats a "commie choon" :P x

    1/4/09
  • 1/3/09
  • Niamh.
    luv Niamh.

    Hey!! what ya been up to? when are you comin home next? xmas? xxx

    11/22/08
  • Claire
    Claire

    Hello!!!!!! Again. What are you doing on Boxing day!!?? Its important!! X

    11/19/08
  • Dan

    if in doubt,put it doubt i miss the glory days of taypsie toon footie we were amazing until stephan joined ( thats spelt sooo wrong) but remeber your sexy as fuckkkkk goal that dribbled past the goalie who missed the ball at st a touuuurnnyyy? fit you really do look like andy murry love you muchh xxxxxx

    11/19/08
  • Sarah Williams
    Sarah Williams

    HII Andrew. Thanks for shouting in my face today... haha think you need to work on your communication skills. Thought I'd have a wee look at your page. The Hugh collection?? Wee bit worrying! Marshall has a special mention on my page haha. Does he have the bebo? hope not!

    11/10/08
  • Niamh.
    luv Niamh.

    aHA! you replied!! yes i am lonely without you :( i hope yer studyin hard!! ah so yer comin on friday? to get the laundry done i suspect :P xxx

    11/6/08
  • Niamh.
    luv Niamh.

    hey howya?? any news?? nothing is happening in my sad life without you :( please write back :D xxx

    11/4/08
  • Mr Gibbs
    Mr Gibbs

    its fate. we are destined to be together, considering we sat watching titanic drinking peppermint tea together, i think its a definite possibility,

    11/4/08
  • Shmirst
    Shmirst

    heya hows flat A goin for ya? :D xxxxx

    11/3/08
  • Mr Gibbs
    luv Mr Gibbs

    what is this pish i am getting from you about queen? get yer act together.

    11/1/08
  • Jaimie McGregor
    Jaimie McGregor

    hahaha awesome lol! you love it really you know you do! :) haha yeah i heard i think we should decorate every1s door lol! see you tomorrow!!! bet u can't wait lol ;) xxx

    10/21/08
  • McGinty

    yeah, i eventually calmed down. but compared to normal people its still pretty excitable.haha! i don't know what came over me! everything just semed so funny! and now we've found out what concomitant means, we need to figure out a way to use it on a daily basis! PAL! :) xxx

    10/21/08