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  • Male, 22, Luv 244
  • from in a house:P
  • I am Down for Whatever
  • Profile views: 6,104
  • Member since: October 2005
  • www.bebo.com/Gerrard1991
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About Me

Me, Myself, and I
Don't use this no more

add Craig Beck on facebook

add me if ya want its Scouse_91@hotmail.co.uk

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  • Martin Skrtel

    1. Scientists believed diamond to be the hardest substance known to man - until they discovered Martin Skrtel.

    2. Martin Skrtel once did a two-footed side tackle. He has vowed never to do it again though; one Grand Canyon is enough.

    3. Martin Skrtel can put a Rowntrees Fruit Pastille in his mouth for a full 14 and a half minutes without chewing..

    4. Martin Skrtel doesn't sleep. He waits.

    5. Martin Skrtel once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

    6. When Martin Skrtel went to transylvania he was bitten by three vampiers and they all became human.

    7. In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Martin Skrtel, because Martin Skrtel killed that man.

    8. One day Skrtel walked into McDonalds an asked for a KFC family bucket... and got one

    9. Martin Skrtel played russian roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

    10. Duncan Ferguson has stated that if he was playing in the Premiership these days he'd carry a can of petrol with him in games against Liverpool. He says that if Martin Skrtel was about to slide tackle him he'd burn himself to death because it would be less painful than the tackle. When informed of this, Skrtel replied that he would have resuscitated Ferguson... And slide-tackled him to death anyway.

    11. Now Ferguson, like the boogeyman, checks his closet for Skrtel before going to bed.

    12. Martin Skrtel destroyed the periodc table because the only element he recognises is the element of surprise.

    13. There is no theory of evolution just a list of creatures Martin has allowed to live.

    14. Martin Skrtel isn’t afraid of dark, dark is afraid of Martin Skrtel.

    15. Martin Skrtel has two speeds: tackle and kill

    16. Martin Skrtel does not run. He jumps on the spot and the earth moves into position

    17. If two Martin Skrtels tackled each other at the same time, time would collapse and the Earth would cease to exist.

    18. Martin Skrtel doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage

    19. Martin Skrtel is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

    20. Martin Skrtel is the one remaining Highlander.

    21. They once made a Martin Skrtel toilet paper, but there was a problem - it wouldn't take shit from anyone.

    22. Martin Skrtel puts the laughter in manslaughter.

    23. Martin Skrtel let the dogs out.

    24. Martin Skrtel doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Martin Skrtel is Martin Skrtel.

    25. Martin Skrtel sees dead people, then kills them again.

    26. When Martin Skrtel types LOL you can actually hear him laugh out loud.

    27. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Martin Skrtel.

    28. When Martin Skrtel was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Martin Skrtel.

    29. A handicap parking sign does not signify that a spot is available for disabled people. It is in fact a warning that the spot belongs to Martin Skrtel and that you will become handicapped if you park there.

    30. Martin Skrtel can predict the shuffle on his iPod.

    31. Martin Skrtel can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

    32. Martin Skrtel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

    33. When Martin Skrtel deletes files from his computer, he doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. He tackles them to hell.

    34. The Fountain of Youth is actually Martin Skrtel sweat.

    1 Comment 268 weeks

  • Whats your best memory of me?

    write down the best memory uve had wiv me or any memory 2 do wiv me :)

    6 Comments 271 weeks

  • do disss

    ARE WE...
    [_] fuk buddies?
    [_] friends?
    [_] in a relationship?
    [_] gonna av kids?
    AM i...
    [_] sexy?
    [_] fit?
    [_] cute?
    [_] funny?
    [_] mad?
    [_] cool?
    [_] loveable?
    [_] adorable?
    [_] great to be with?
    [_] attractive?
    [_] Annoying?
    [_] ugly?
    [_] mean?
    [_] odd?
    HAVE Y0U EVER...
    [_] thought about me?
    [_] thought there might be an "us"?
    [_] thought about hookin up with me?
    [_] found yourself wanting a kiss from me?
    [_] wished i were there?
    [_] grabbed me?
    [_] grabbed my arse?(if u want 2 go 4 it)
    [_] had a crush on me?
    [_] idolized me?
    [_] wanted my number?
    [_] had a dream about me?
    [_] been distracted by me?
    ARE Y0U...
    [_] happy you know me?
    [_] mad at me?
    [_] thinking bout me?
    [_] going to copy this so that i will return the favor?

    9 Comments 286 weeks

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Put a little alcohol into you, and suddenly you’re transformed into little miss sunshine! You love everybody, laugh constantly, and become the life of the party. Nothing can bring you down, and while you may seem a little bit silly to the more sober members of the crow, you could care less. Whether it’s breaking it down on the dance floor, kicking butt at Texas Hold’em, or flirting with the person next to you, you emanate fun and lack of inhibition.
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