Things that change when you leave college...

1. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
2. Having sex in a single bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. Lunchtime is not 'the morning
5. You don't volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital.
6. You know all of the people sleeping in your house.
7. You hear your favourite song in the lift at work.
8. Informative TV does not include Richard and Judy.
9. The bank manager doesn't write threatening letters any more.
10. You carry an umbrella.
11. Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.
12. You don't go to Tesco with all your friends.
13. You have standing orders and direct debits.
14. The heating works in your house.
15. Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and break-up.
16. You pay the government thousands of pounds every year.
17. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
18. Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
19. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids
nextdoor won't turn down the stereo.
20. You get out of bed in the morning even if it's raining.
21. Washing up is not an annual ritual.
22. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
23. You don't know what time the kebab shop closes anymore.
24. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
25. You feed your dog Pal instead of McDonalds.
26. You don't get ideas for drinks from local tramps.
27. You don't put half-finished curries in the fridge to eat later.
28. You don't spend half your day strategically planning pub
crawls.
29. You "hate scrounging students".
30. You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when
drunk.
31. Sleeping in the lounge is a no-no.
32. You can't persuade your flatmates to 'Drink till
dawn'.
33. You don't spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.
34. You always know where you are when you wake up.
35. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
36. A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.
37. You go to the chemist for Panadol and antacids, not
condoms and pregnancy test kits.
38. A bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.
39. You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.
40. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
41. You don't have mice living in your kitchen.
42. Grocery lists are longer than pot noodles & cans of lager.
43. You don't go to Lidl to buy Vodka.
44. You have vacuumed.
45. Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.
46. 'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never
going to drink that much again'.
47. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
48. You don't experiment with banned substances.
49. You don't get drunk at home to save money before going out.

Farmer Ryan and Barbie's Cousin wre chasing Horse and Horny Pony down the street when they saw Miss Piss doing what she does best with Granny Hanney
supervising & saying Cailín Salach!! Across the street Jersey Puller was Up the Duff yelling Your My Boy Blue!! Meanwhile, Dr.Phil was counselling 999 who was insisting on having a Pint of Bud when they saw Puckahontass with her Norrie Nipples and her Peg Leg yelling Steps Ref at Fat Jo Mac who was shouting back at her "But im a lady"!! Then Fr.Stone was falling around the place like a bit of a Wild Swinger wondering "Whats my Name?"!!!!
And so after a Crazy Day we all became fairly Floppy and turned into Sleeping Beauties!!!!!.........YA U KNOW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. YOU IMPERSONATE THE UNBELIEVEABLES (EVEN
THOUGH U HAVE A TIPP ACCENT)
2. YOU BUY TIN FOIL AND HAM FROM A WHOLESALERS
3. YOU THINK A TIPP JERSEY IS THE HEIGHT OF
FASHION
4. YOU DISLIKE LIMERICK/KILKENNY/GALWAY/CLARE
COUNTIES
5. YOU USE THE WORD "WELL" AS A GREETING
6. GUINNESS (NOT MURPHYS) IS THE ONLY STOUT U
DRINK
7. YOU BUY TIPPERARY SPRING WATER EVEN THOUGH
YOU HAVE ON TAP
8. YOU BELIEVE ITS THE HOME OF HURLING DESPITE
HAVING LESS TITLES THAN CORK & KILKENNY !!!!
9. YOU PRONOUNCE TEA AS TAY
10. YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF ANY OTHER TIPPERARY
TOWN/PARISH OUTSIDE OF YOUR OWN
11. TRAMORE WAS YOUR IDEA OF A SUMMER HOLIDAY
12. PEOPLE THINK YOU TALK FUNNY WHEN YOU RETURN
HOME FOR THE WEEKEND (TIPP PEOPLE CAN PICK UP A DUBLIN 4 ACCENT AFTER
5 MINS)
14. YOU SING "SLIEVENAMON" FOR NO APPARANT
REASON DESPITE NOT VISITING THE AREA
15. YOU HATE SINGING "ITS A LONG WAY TO TIPPERARY"
16. YOU HATE BEING ASKED "WHERE ARE YOU FROM"
WHEN U HAVE JUST TOLD SOMEONE YOU ARE FROM TIPP (ONLY APPLIES TO TIPP
TOWN RESIDENTS)
17. YOU COME ACROSS AS BEING ARROGANT
18. YOU SAY "THATS RIGHT" WITHOUT REALISING
19. YOU WERE NOT TAUGHT HOW TO PRONOUNCE ANY WORDS
BEGINNING WITH THE LETTERS T & H IN SCHOOL, ALL ARE PRONOUNCE USING "DE"
AS IN "DE TOWN"
20. YOU USE THE SAME PUB WHEN ATTENDING A MATCH
OR CONCERT IN DUBLIN OR CORK....QUINNS IN DUBLIN AND REARDONS OR McCORMACKS IN CORK
21. YOU LOVE GALTEE FOODS, CALVITA CHEESE IS ALSO A JIGSAW
22. YOU HAVE A RELATION WHO IS (A) A GARDA OR (B) A NURSE
23. YOU WORKED IN THE LOCAL CREAMERY AT SOME POINT
24. YOU THINK LOUSIE MORRISSEY IS A TOP ENTERTAINER