.............../[][][][][][]
..............|/[]--------[]
..............|/[]--------[] gone from sight
..............|/[]--------[]
..............|/[]--------[]
.../[][][][][][]--------[][][][][][]
..|/[]----RIP bob marley----[][
..|/[]----------------------------[]
..|/[][][][][][]--------[][][][][][]
..|///////////[]---------[]/////////
..............|/[]--------[]
..............|/[]--------[]
..............|/[]--------[]
..............|/[]--------[] but not from sound
..............|/[]--------[]
..............|/[]--------[]
..............|/[]--------[]
..............|/[]--------[]
..............|/[][][][][][]
..............|/ / / / / / /

Physically can't bring yourself to say "R*T" (or type it) and are surprised that other people have never heard the term "long-tail".

You find yourself a wanna-be Scouser i.e. you say the word "like" at the end of every sentence.

You call anywhere other than the Isle of Man "across".

You get annoyed when people call England "the mainland" because (apparently) everyone knows that the IOM is far superior?

You tell Peel girl jokes instead of Essex girl jokes.

You tell anyone who disagrees with you "if you don't like it, there's a boat in the morning."

You understand the phrase "traa di liaoor yessir" and accept it as a valid reason when something is not done on time.

You remember when Ted the Tramp lying drunk outside the Villa Marina was a tourist attraction.

You spend more on getting to Manchester airport than you do on the rest of your holiday.

You didn't know what Halloween was until you were 10.

You didn't know there was any other place BUT the Isle of Man until you were 10.

You LOVE chips cheese & gravy and feel that it is a meal of great nutritional value

You understand that every type of building work funded by the government will cost a fortune, look completely out of place and spend the next 10 years being criticised by the public.

When you talk to people you haven't seen in a while you always begin the conversation "alright Yessir!"

You LAUGH at the naive people who visit the Island in TT week and believe that the island is ALWAYS like that, and it's even funnier when they move here and find out there is F*CK ALL to do.

You are proud to be Manx and HATE to be called English, but when it comes to the World Cup you support England (even though at every other time of year you are Manx as the hills.)

You use phrases such as 'Manx as the hills'.

You ALWAYS say hello to the fairies.

You don't need Friends Reunited to find people you went to school with, you just go to the pub.

You pack a flask and sandwiches to drive "all the way to Ramsey".

You always say you are going UP to Ramsey and DOWN to Castletown, OUT to Peel and IN to Douglas.

You think 8 cars in a line is a traffic jam and use it as an excuse to be late to work.

You can't drive on a motorway.

Quarterbridge is a highly dangerous, major roundabout. You don't know what to do when you get there.

You walk through town and recognise almost every other person, but can never remember where from.

Everyone you date has been out with at least one of your friends. Or in Peel, is a member of your family.

If you throw a sickie from work you stay in and lock the doors because you just KNOW your boss will see you NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE on the Island.

The only live theatre acts are tribute bands.

You get excited when you meet someone 'across' who has heard of the Isle of Man and they ask if you know somebody they know.

You HATE it when people confuse the Island with the Isle of Wight.

You watch anything that has been produced by the Manx Film Commission or programmes on telly that the Isle of Man might get a tiny mention in, even if it is rubbish, just so that you can say "I ;recognise that place!!".

...However, you hate all the 'poncey film fellas' coming over to film, who swan around as if they own the place.

Even if you're not into bikes you wear a bikers jacket anyway to make it look as though you are.

You don't mind driving for an extra 30mins to get around the road closures in TT week.

...But you ABSOLUTELY HATE the roads closing for the cycles, or ANY KIND OF FILMING or ANY OTHER REASON

You smile smugly at the tourist swimming on Douglas beach. But swimming in Peel or Port St Mary seems completely normal to you.

You moan about the Island yourself, but ABSOLUTELY HATE an outsider' saying a bad word about the place.

You HATE the Steam Racket with a passion.

You HATE the airlines with a passion

- Go out with me?
- Give me your number?
- Kiss me?
- Let me kiss you?
- Watch a movie with me?
- Let me take you out to dinner?
- Take a shower with me?
- Be my Bf?
- Take me home for the night?
- Let me sleep in your bed?
- Re-post this for me to answer your questions?
- Give me a piggyback ride?
- Have a relationship with me?
- Dance with me?
- Spank that ass?
- Help me with homework?
- Tickle me to death?
- Let me tickle you?
- Stick up for me if i was being put down?
- Play strip poker with me?
- Say yes if i asked you out?
- Get wasted with me?
- Instant message me?
- Greet me in public?
- Hang out with me?