Blonde jokes

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone
Blonde hangin from a tree
Q: A one armed blonde is hanging from a tree. How can you make her fall?
A: You wave at her!

Flight Skool
A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly.

As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter.

He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it!

The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away.

He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, she said,
"I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold.

I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan!"

Ventriloquist
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."

Cuttin Pizza
A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

* Magic Mirror
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.


* Yell 4 Help!

Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.

After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."

The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."


* Speeding Ticket

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your dr

.Wud you hug me?
.Wud you kiss me?
.Wud you go out clubbin wiv me?
.Wud you be my friend?
.Wud you go out wiv me if I asked you?
.Are we friends?
.Are we enermys?
. Am i hot?:
. Am I sweet?:
. Am I crazy?:
. Am I loveable?:
. Am I funny?:
. Am I annoying?:
. Am I a good friend?:
. Am I always looking for a good time?:
. Am I horrible?
.do ya luv me as a friend
.do u luv me more than a friend?:
. r u gonna b der 4 me wen i need u ?:
.r u gonna put dis o ya bebo 2 c wat i say?:
.anything 2 say befor u go?:

1.Whats your Name?
2. Are we close?
3. What do you think of me?
4. Do you hav a crush on me?
5. Would u kiss me?
7. Describe me in 3 words?
8. If u Had Me for 30 Mins wat would you do?
9. What was ur first impression of me?
10. Do u still think the same?
11.. What reminds u of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do u know me?
14. What do u like best about me?
15. Ever wanted 2 tell me something u could'nt?
16. Could you ever love me?
17. Give me a nickname and explain why?
18.R u gona put this on ur blog and c wat i say bout u?
19.Anything 2 say b4 u go?