“Jeremy: Ooh. Just before we do the news, we've had a letter. Got to share it with you... um... Here- pink note paper- all the i's have got little circles on them- ready? Dear Richard...
Richard: [very calm thus far] Oh, right.
Jeremy: [reading] Yeah, I watch Top Gear, I think you're the best looking guy on the program.
Richard: [frowning] That's hardly an achievement, is it?
Jeremy: You're cool- fair point- [he means that it's hardly an achievement to be the best looking guy, not that Hammond is cool] You're cool, good looking, ace hairstyle, wicked clothes...
Richard: She said that? She sounds all right!
Jeremy: Best wishes... that's ah- that's um, Stuart.
[Audience laughs]
Richard: It's a modern world, that's all right.
Jeremy: But it gets better, because would you like to know Stuart's address?
Richard: Not really, no...
Jeremy: The Folkston Wing, Her Majesty's Prison, Broadmore.
Richard: Broadmore?
Jeremy: He's getting out soon and he wants to know-
Richard: But he could be watching now! Shut up!
Jeremy: [Raising a hand to shush Hammond] No, listen- 'What did you do with all of the shirts from the last series; can I have them?'
Richard: No! No you c- Or wait, yes, I- How long's he gonna be... at that address...? Do we know?
James: Um, it's better than that. Stuart, come on in! [Richard is terrified] No, I'm kidding.
Richard: I don't like that.”