Here's a little humor (very little). But I like to be punny!

Q: How are a texas tornado and a tennnessee divorce the same?
A: somebody's gonna lose a trailer.



1.Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.



2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"I'll serve you, but don't start anything."



3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.



4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.



5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his
arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."



6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"



7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, ' It's Not
Unusual.' "



8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I
don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.



9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids
were nothing to look at either.



10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull
before.



11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but
I couldn't find any.



12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
?Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you
can't - I've cut off your arms!"



13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a
mussel.



14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.



15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says "Dam!".



16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit
a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once
again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.



17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and
were standing in the lobby discussing their recent
tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came
out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why,"
they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand
chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."



18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."



19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered
from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed
by halitosis.



20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty
different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least
ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.