Some of you fellas might be having a hard time understanding some of what Bret, Jemaine & Rhys are saying in Flight of the Conchords (Kiwis have a habit of mumbling, speaking quickly and flattening vowels). So here are a key few phrases which you might hear them say in the TV series, and what they mean amongst fellow Kiwis.


G’day mate
The most common thing you'll ever hear said in New Zealand and by a Kiwi. Simply put it is a friendly 'Hello'.


Choice, bro!
A way of saying that something is excellent. 'Choice' is a very versatile word in NZ meaning anything from OK, cool, I agree, I understand, it's been good... to a million other things, but always positive.


Fush & chups
Actually Kiwis are saying Fish & Chips - a popular and, generally, quite healthy meal, bought in local 'takeaways' and cooked to perfection there and then on the spot. Burgers are great in NZ too, using fresh ingredients, locally bought and generally come in the one size of 'huge' - with pineapple, beetroot, cheese, tomato, onion, as well as, the actual contents of what you ordered i.e. a Bacon & Egg burger.


Hangi
A traditional Maori meal made by slow baking food, over the course of a day (and drinking lots of beer along the way, in informal gatherings), in pits in the earth and results in a very fresh, moist and tasty style of food (typically meat & vegetables, often accompanied by Kumara - a sweet potato).


Pakeha
A phrase initially coined by the Maori to descrbe the European settlers and argument continues to this day as to whether that original usage was intended to describe them as pale skinned or, frankly, 'with a skin surprisingly similar to pigs'. In modern times it is simply used as a cultural reference to Kiwis of European descent (without the piggy bit).


Chilly bin
An icebox that forms an integral part of any summer holiday, sporting event or student piss-up and is used to keep your beer cool, as well as, for sitting on (practical lot us Kiwis).


Jandals
A phrase unique to NZ referring to the beach footware that is like a basic sandal with a thong between the big toe & the next one, which holds the whole thing together (called 'flip-flops' in Australia).


Judder bar
A speed hump in the road i.e. the car 'judders' when it goes over one.


Doing the ton
Getting your car to one hunderd miles an hour.


Fanny
Like Britain, referring to the private parts of a woman, vice your bum.


Good as Gold or Good on ya mate
General phrases used to express happiness or a confirmation that everything is A'OK!


Hard case
A funny or ironic character. Kiwi's would describe the Flight of the Conchords as 'quite hard-cased' (with the 'quite' reflecting the natural Kiwi reticence to go all the way out on a limb).


Knackered, Tit's up, Sucked a kumara
3 phrases all rougly meaning that something is not working i.e. a possible real scenario could be "Yeah, the car's knackered, the whole day has gone completely tit's up - man, it sucks a kumara!".


Thick as shit
You can probably work this one out - somebody who is pretty stupid.


Pack a wobbly or Crack the shits
To lose your cool or become annoyed.


Root
As Kiwi's proudly boast in London bars, they're quite keen to describe the Kiwi, NZ's national bird... and themselves, as one who 'eats roots & leaves'. Although in their case, they are actually talking about having sex vice any nocturnal forest activity (well, not that sort of activity anyway).

Witch

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A cone of paper which is placed in a vessel of lard or other fat, and used as a taper.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One who practices the black art, or magic; one regarded as possessing supernatural or magical power by compact with an evil spirit, esp. with the Devil; a sorcerer or sorceress; -- now applied chiefly or only to women, but formerly used of men as well.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An ugly old woman; a hag.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One who exercises more than common power of attraction; a charming or bewitching person; also, one given to mischief; -- said especially of a woman or child.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A certain curve of the third order, described by Maria Agnesi under the name versiera.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The stormy petrel.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To bewitch; to fascinate; to enchant

Bewitch

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To gain an ascendency over by charms or incantations; to affect (esp. to injure) by witchcraft or sorcery.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To charm; to fascinate; to please to such a degree as to take away the power of resistance; to enchant.

Witchcraft

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The practices or art of witches; sorcery; enchantments; intercourse with evil spirits.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Power more than natural; irresistible influence.

Woman

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An adult female person; a grown-up female person, as distinguished from a man or a child; sometimes, any female person.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The female part of the human race; womankind.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A female attendant or servant.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To act the part of a woman in; -- with indefinite it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To make effeminate or womanish.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To furnish with, or unite to, a woman.

found these while being on some random site...
“A witch and a bitch always dress up for each other, because otherwise the witch would upstage the bitch, or the bitch would upstage the witch, and the result would be havoc”

There are three classes into which all the women past seventy that ever I knew were to be divided:

1. That dear old soul;

2. That old woman;

3. That old witch.”

“WITCH, n. (1) Any ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil. (2) A beautiful and attractive young woman, in wickedness a league beyond the devil.”

My mother says I must not pass, Too near that glass; She is afraid that I will see, A little witch that looks like me; With a red mouth to whisper low, The very thing I should not know”

“I will show you a love potion without drug or herb, or any witch's spell; if you wish to be loved, love”