Hearts is..........a bunch of poofs who went to a gay bar (19th century predecessor of CC Blooms) namin themselves over somethin you can gob at, lyin down on the Royal Mile (Justin Fudginu's fave sex game)
Hearts is.........never attractin over 60,000 to a game in Edinburgh (something that was managed on more than one occasion by that wee, Fenian team)
Hearts is.........representin Scotland in the European Cup and embarrassin the nation
Heartsis...........gettin thumped 7-1 at home by boys from the jute city
Hearts is........hosting a bunch of fermers from Ayrshire n losin the title to them
Hearts is.........being four down after nine minutes against that wee, Fenian team
Hearts is.........conceding a Pat Quinn hat-trick to that wee, Fenian team
Hearts is.........never qualifying for the Drybrough Cup but participatin in the Anglo-Scottish and gettin pumped 8-0 by Burnley
Hearts is.........hosting that wee, Fenian team the same historic day as Ted 'Fanny' Heath's Tories ensured that the UK joined the EEC.
Hearts is.........they lost 7-0 to the wee team that day
Hearts is..........not scorin against that wee, Fenian team for five whole years
Hearts is..........changing their all blooded turd home strip into an Ajax version of the same colour (look like Ajax, play like Ajax MA BAWS!)
Hearts is..........gettin relegated three times in five years
Hearts is.........their supporters fightin amongst themselves when they lost to that wee, Fenian team in the Scottish Cup
Hearts is.........the wanky hertz service crew fightin amongst themselves at First Division games
Hearts is..........their supporters fightin amongst themselves again when Motherwell condemned them to a second successive season in the First Division (an ignominy that has never befell that wee, Fenian team)
Hearts is........only winnin twice in fifteen years against that wee, Fenian team
Hearts is.......donning jumpers from Ingleston market to re-record a song with the refrain 'Marshall's Chunky Chickens'
Hearts is.........thousands of t-shirts with 'HMFC league champs 85-86' lyin in a shed somewhere
Hearts is..........a Bobby Ball lookalike takin the field in the jute city and rainin on yer parade
Hearts is..........throwin bananas at Mark Walters
Hearts is..........singin 'We are the Billy Boys' LIKE THE HUNS
Hearts is.........twirlin yer scarves LIKE THE HUNS
Hearts is...........waving the union jack LIKE THE HUNS
Hearts is..........waving the red hand of ulster LIKE THE HUNS
Hearts is...........making nazi salutes LIKE THE HUNS
Hearts is...........losing 3-0 to that wee, fenian team in the Millennium derby
Hearts is.........no sellin all your tickets (cos of price ha ha)
Hearts is..............concedin six goals that night (seven but for a bad refereeing decision)
Hearts is..........stalkin a fat pastry magnet. with a mouser
Hearts is..........being seduced by the lies of a lithuanian gangster
Hearts is.........being deluded on Lithuanian Lithium
Hearts is..........believin in the Pied Piper of Gorgie
Hearts is...........embarrassin Scotland in the CL (ha ha) qualifiers
Hearts is...........gettin phcuked by Sparta Prague
Hearts is...........flats on Gorgie Road
Hearts is...........NO FUTURE!

Keep The Faith Fuck The Hearts

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