Me, Myself, and I

Im a dum dee deh dum DRUMMER....... I played tin cans in the back streets of Bucharest in the old country, until I was plucked from obscurity by a band of travelling circus freaks. My job was to give the strong man his rub down after the show and to pedicure the bearded lady's feet. I then sailed to Ireland in a barrel after walking for fifty days and fifty nights to get to the french coast, while being disguised as Pepe Le Pu.
I then shined shoes for a living using only my long flowing main of blonde hair because I couldn't afford a brush. Unfortunatly my hairline receded rapidly after years of abuse and had more split ends than a Hyena rubbed with a brillo pad. So then a stint in the door man trade beckoned, and the only work a 4'2" doorman could get was in the Marino bingo hall, where I sowed my wild oats and courted many of the punters, some of the auld lads aswell, just for nixers mind. I shagged so many blue rinsers they dubbed them: Maxi's Mingers. And the rest is history...

Music

War of the worlds, ABBA, Shakin' Stevens, Cliff "the real king of rock n' roll" Richards, Ruari O'Bradaigh, Now 26, Duran Duran, Flock of seagulls, Joe Dolan, DeXtra, The Sounds of The Ocean, Bronski Beat, Marc Almond, Bucks Fizz, Daniel O'Donnell, Dexys Midnight Runners, The Everly Brothers, Rod Stewart, The Petshop Boys, Erasure and many many more homo erotic 80's beat groups...

Films

Lassie come home, Bambie, Bambi 2, Watershipdown....'bright eyes, burning like fire...' BOOOO HOOOO, The Goonies, Ferris Beulers Day Off, Titanic, The Crying Game, Spy Kids, Spy Kids 2, Adam and Paul, Anything with Jet Li or Mel Gibson...

Sports

Tiddly winks, spelling, Scrabble, lifting, shopping in Lidl and Adli, but mostly comparing reciepts, indoor bowles, ('cept the aul back is giving me jip and the auld knackers are roaring red with the rubbing.)

Scared Of

Soap, Dapper Dan hair oil, the neck, Alsiemers, Chuck Norris, ripping the skin off me knackers when I do up me zip, Bambi, Bambi 2, driving to work dressed only in me chocolate brown Y-fronts with the yellow trim and extra skiddies and stains, s**tting me kidneys out in the jacks in DEX, Worzil Gummidge, Forty Coats and Fifty Pockets, everything without a beat...including little tiny kittens

Happiest When

Running over slugs with my remote control 4x4, washing My Corrola XLI Booyakasha...you been pimped muthaf**ka, counting all the spoons, knives and forks in the drawer while listening to the sound track to Moulin Rouge, ironing the curtains, listening to de beat of my big bass drum and listening to my bestest friend Pauls big, long bass...

Manamana

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