Getting up at 7am is a lie-in

Your alarm clock is set to farming today, even though you hate it now

You've got the RPA's number on speed dail in your phone

You've run over your own cat in a tractor

When someone says they live on an estate you think of fields and woods rather than a barratts development

You tut at people in tesco buying danish bacon and french bread

When you listen to radio 4's the archers and think how hoppy all the characters are

You don't sit down to a single hot meal in august

You fall asleep with-in 3 minutes of sitting down in front of the t.v

Your sun tan ends just above the elbow in the summer

You've had a live lamb in your aga

You get more letters from DEFRA than you do from friends and family

You only take the kids to the seaside when it rains

A good holiday is a week in the west coast in november

You can't drive along a road anywhere in britain without studying everyone else's crop's and livestock

There is small heaps of grain outside the back door of the house every summer

Drilling does not mean putting holes through interior walls

Dress sense means cutting down on nitrogen applications

Your 4x4 acctually goes off road

You get frustrated by people calling straw "hay"

Your ideal holiday is to visit other peoples farms

Your hands look like they are made with the same material as your boots

Your bag on your hoover is full of grain from july to september

The faint (but agreeable) smell of diesel never leaves you

Your most valued possession is your pen knife

Track and field has nothing to do with athletics

A lamb follows the children into the kitchen and no one thinks its unusal

You confidently walk arround the supermarket in wellies

Your lawn include hundreds of cattle hoof prints

You open a bale and discover an old mobile phone

You drive your new telehandler repeatedly past your neighbour's yard until someone appears

You feel naked without baler twine in your pocket

There is a well worn path from your back door to your phone

You cannot see how anyone would walk for pleasure

You can remember all fertiliser and seed rates, but you struggle to remember the missus' birthday

Someone from a town tells you they are buyin a paddock for a horse, and the first thing you do is wonder how many sheep can fit into it.

Your dog rides in your truck more than your missus.

Your could do with someone designing a mini - baler for all the straw you trail across your floor.

The smell of diesal is always about your person, even if faint, its there.

With the amount of grease, diesal and oil you get on yourself while preparing machines for a days work, you will be preserved perfectly for millions of years.