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- Me, Myself, and I
- Ah smokin a rolled up news paper on the DART, BEAutiful!
- The Other Half Of Me
he's so dreamy!
- Anything Irish, nothing depressing or hardcore, anywhere in the middle's fine!
- Uncle Buck (john candy= leg end), Oldschool, Anchorman n all that stuff, wedding crashers now a must have!, more serious stuff too and anything x-rated will always get a look.
- Soccer, hockey and pretty much anything else.The lpool gotta get a mention too.
- Scared Of
- not always being able to get by on my ravishing good looks and superior intellect(for dave n horse that means brains!)
- Happiest When
- On the buzz with everyone the morning after the night before, especially if we're gettin beers on, spectacular, you should try it.
- Exams-really not likin this buzz, bring on christmas!
Pull out beds-there's now such thing as a comfortable one
Horse-for various things, he supplies a new reason daily!
Smoked fish-i like fish but smoked, its disgusting end of discussion.
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1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You're never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
9) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
10) Rummaging in an overgrow garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
11) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
12) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
13) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
14) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
15) You never ever run out of salt.
16) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
17) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
1 Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
19) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
20) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
21) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
22) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose
1 Comment 330 weeks
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive drinking of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that,is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
0 Comments 9 days ago
0 Comments 358 weeks
Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done.
Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning
Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman
Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!
Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Homer: Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos
Homer: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
Homer: You couldn't fool your own mother on the foolingest day of your life with an electrified fooling machine!
Homer: Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
Homer: How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.
0 Comments 358 weeks
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