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- Me, Myself, and I
- WE ARE STILL PROUD OF OUR MAYO TEAM YE DID WELL ENOUGH TO GET TO DA FINAL!!!
|UP MAYO!!!!truck | '|""";.., __
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♥Get Well Soon McGarrity♥
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Choose pain, heartache, depression...choose to place
your faith in false gods adorned with tight shorts,
false tans and braids...chose whether or not to wear
your county colours for fear of ridicule should you be
at the wrong end of another hammering...choose false
hope at the start of each FBD Cup campaign.
Choose Galway as the enemy, Roscommon as an annoyance,
Sligo as soccer heads, Leitrim as your favourite
underdogs...choose to wish Padraig Joyce was born our
side of the border...choose McHale Park as mecca, Tuam
as a hay shed, Hyde as a hell-hole...choose to park in
the old bacon factory, stand under the score board,
watch the girls go by with fake tan dripping from the
Choose whether to travel up to Croker the day before
or the morning of the big match...choose whether or
not to take home that Tipp girl you met in
Roddys...choose a big mighty fry before the match in
your sisters place...choose too many pints before the
match...choose the Big Tree after the match...choose
to go on the pi$s even though we lost again.
Choose to hope that Maughan finally gets it right,
O’Mahony hangs around if Maughan doesn’t...choose to
forget Holmes but thank him for the league
title...choose to dream about what it would have been
like if we had won in 1996, choose to forget about
1997 and 2004.
Choose to be a Garda, Civil Servant, plasterer,
carpenter, plumber, electrician, teacher,
nurse...choose a flat in Drumcondra, Phibsboro,
Rathmines...choose to buy a house in Ballycullen,
Carpenterstown, Lucan...choose Rody Bolands, the
Portobello, Flannerys, Coppers, McGowans...choose the
Manhattan, Giggs Place for eating.
Choose to leave your place of birth at the tender age
of 17...choose to go to college in Galway, Sligo, UL,
UCD or get the start with the big brother in
Dublin...choose only to return home for Christmas,
Easter, the local town festival, Connacht Championship
fixtures...choose whether or not to apply for a job in
the one local factory and accept half your current
wage in the hope that life will be better than the rat
race in the big smoke.
Choose Cox’s, Rockys, Mantra, Long Necks to
drink...choose Baxter, Volex, Coca Cola to
work...choose Breaffy House, Castlecourt Hotel, Hotel
Westport, Pontoon Bridge, Downhill Hotel to get
married...choose Enniscrone for holidays...choose the
Westhern, The Cannacht Telegraph, the Mayo News, Mis
Choose long summer days in the bog, driving a tractor
at 12, going to the local mart as a big day
out...choose your first car a souped up Jap import, on
your mothers insurance, don’t tax it until you are
caught...choose the site your father leaves you and to
build a unimaginatively designed mansion on it.
Choose the two teacher school for primary education,
the big school in town for secondary...choose to go
down town for lunch, play pool in the pub, hope the
convent girls notice you...choose getting a pint in
the local at 16, seeing your father in the local
disco, thinking you scored because you kissed a
girl...choose to stand outside the church at Sunday
1 Comment 360 weeks
Soccer is Shite!!
25 reasons GAA is better than Soccer
1) The GAA player who played in front of 80,000 at the weekend will be teaching your children, selling you meat or fixing your drains on Monday morning. The soccer player who plays in front of 80,000 will be moaning about playing too many games and will be trying to sell you his personalised brand of leisure wear
2) GAA nicknames are better (The Bull, The Bomber, etc.) . Soccer players just add a Y to their surnames
3) Laois v Offaly is a real derby. What does Utd. Vs City mean to Ronaldo or Sibierski
4) How many soccer players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer eleven. One to stick it in and ten to surround and kiss him after he does it
5) Soccer players go to the papers after a game. GAA players go to the pub
6) John Terry would run a mile if he came up against Francie Bellew
7) GAA teams are numbered 1-15. A soccer team reads like the lottery results
All soccer players wear shin pads. Some hurlers wear helmets
9) Television runs soccer. Schoolteachers run the GAA
10) The GAA is about where you're from. Soccer is about who you like
11) No segregation at GAA games
12) No soccer team has a nickname quite as lovely as the Fighting Cocks of Carlow
13) Bubble perms never made it to Croke Park
14) A scoreless draw in the GAA would be quite a novelty
15) The GAA may not appreciate its women as much as it should but at least we all know who Cora Stanunton is. The most famous woman in English soccer is Posh Spice
16) Under age players get to be part of the biggest days in hurling and football at half-time in the All-Ireland.
17) Micheal O'Murchearaigh.
1 If a GAA player ever jumped at a spectator like Eric Cantona did the rest of his team would join in. So would the rest of the crowd.
19)Vinnie Jones grabbed Gascoignes testicles. Paudie O'Se decked Joe McNally during the National Anthem. McNally learnt his lesson. Gascoigne just got worse.
20) The GAA season always leaves you wanting more. The soccer season leaves soccer people demanding less. "Fewer games please"
21) Old soccer players get testimonials, Old GAA players just slip down to junior.
22) Rural villages = A Church, A Post-office, a Pub and a GAA pitch.
23) Pints after the match with the lad you knocked seven lumps of shite out of in the game.
24)Croke park on a Summer's Day.
25)Roman Abramovich can buy the League. You can't buy Liam or Sam!!
2 Comments 360 weeks
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