1. Filip Sebo once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Filip Sebo allows to live.

3. When Filip Sebo drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.

4. When Filip Sebo was born, the nurse said, "Holy Crap! That's Filip Sebo!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

5. When Filip Sebo goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

6. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Filip Sebo could use to kill you, including the room itself.

7. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed a tenner from Filip Sebo and forgot to pay him back.

8. Filip Sebo can count backwards from infinity.

9. Crop circles are Filip Sebo' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

10. When Filip Sebo jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Filip Sebo instead.

11. Filip Sebo can divide by zero.

12. In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Filip Sebo, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

13. Filip Sebo is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.

14. Filip Sebo has two speeds: walk and kill.

15. Filip Sebo is the reason why Wally is hiding.

16. Filip Sebo can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

17. You are what you eat. That is why Filip Sebo’s diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

18. Filip Sebo once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

19. Filip Sebo played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

20. If you were to lock Filip Sebo in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Filip Sebo replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

21. On his birthday, Filip Sebo randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

22. Filip Sebo doesn't believe in condoms. Instead, he sticks his Penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while shagging another.

23. When Filip Sebo does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

24. Whenever Filip Sebo puts out a cigarette, he throws it in slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an inferno erupts behind him.

25. Filip Sebo invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Aiden Mcgeadinho invented pink.

26. Filip Sebo coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

27. Filip Sebo haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.

28. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Filip Sebo punched himself in the face.

29. Filip Sebo, David Hasselhoff, Chuck Norris and Mr T once all met in a bar, it exploded as no room can contain that much cool!

30. Filip Sebo is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

31. Filip Sebo is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Filip Sebo!

32. Filip Sebo can touch MC Hammer.

33. They once made a Filip Sebo toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

34. If Filip Sebo is late, time better slow the fuck down.

35. Filip Sebo once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

36. Filip Sebo was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesu

A: You have trouble trusting people
B: You are always fun when it comes to meeting new people
C: youre wild and crazy
D: You are popular with all types of people
E: A Hottie
F: People totally adore you
G: You are very friendly and understanding
H: You have a very good personality and good looks
I: You Hate Liars
J: Everyone loves you
K: You like to try new things
L: You always make other people smile when you smile
M: Success comes easily to you
N: You're great in bed
O: You love foreplay
P: You are very friendly and understanding
Q: You are a hypocrite
R: You are beautiful, and sexy
S: People think you are so sexy
T: You are one of the best in bed
U: You are really chill
V: You are not judgemental
W: You are very broad minded
X: You never let people tell you what to do
Y: you make every experience great
Z: You're Super cool


M: Success comes easily to you
A: You have trouble trusting people
R: You are beautiful, and sexy
T: You are one of the best in bed
I: You Hate Liars
N: You're great in bed

Im Happy With That Lol !

Drive boy dog boy
Dirty numb angel boy
In the doorway boy
She was a lipstick boy
She was a beautiful boy
And tears boy
And all in your innerspace boy
You had
hands girl boy
and steel boy
You had chemicals boy
I've grown so close to you
Boy and you just groan boy
She said comeover comeover
She smiled at you boy.

Drive boy dog boy
Dirty numb angel boy
In the doorway boy
She was a lipstick boy
She was a beautiful boy
And tears boy
And all in your innerspace boy
You had
hands girl boy
and steel boy
You had chemicals boy
I've grown so close to you
Boy and you just groan boy
She said comeover comeover
She smiled at you boy.

Let your feelings slip boy
But never your mask boy
Random blonde bio high density rhythm
Blonde boy blonde country blonde high density
You are my drug boy
You're real boy
Speak to me and boy dog
Dirty numb cracking boy
You get wet boy
Big big time boy
Acid bear boy
Babes and babes and babes and babes and babes
And remembering nothing boy
You like my tin horn boy and get
Wet like an angel
Derail

You got a velvet mouth
You're so succulent and beautiful
Shimmering and dirty
Wonderful and hot times
On your telephone line
And god and everything
On your telephone
And in walk an angel

And look at me your mom
Squatting pissed in a tube-
hole at Tottenham Court Road
I just come out of the ship
Talking to the most
Blonde I ever met
Shouting
Lager lager lager lager
Shouting
Lager lager lager lager
Shouting...
Lager lager lager
Shouting
Mega mega white thing
Mega mega white thing
Mega mega white thing
Mega mega
Shouting lager lager lager lager
Mega mega white thing
Mega mega white thing
So many things to see and do
In the tube hole true
Blonde going back to Romford
Mega mega mega going back to Romford
Hi mom are you having fun
And now are you on your way
To a new tension
headache