101 Uses for bubble wrap
1. Bubble wrapping underneath the wallpaper can prevent it hurting so much when you hit your head against the wall in frustration
2. Apply it to all the pavements in the world to cut down on suicide rates
3. Wrap up the blades in a liquidiser to prevent the little ones hurting themselves
4. Wrap up the bar in the bar joke so that the poor guy doesn't have to go "ow" any more
5. Bubble wrap handcuffs to prevent the fragile criminals from hurting their wrists when they get arrested
6. Bubble wrap the bars in the cells as well
7. Bubble wrap the planet to fend off alien invasions
8. Fill bubble wrap with ozone and wrap it around the planet to replace the ozone layer
9. Wrap it around your torso to stop your sides splitting when you laugh too much
10. Bubble wrap your bike pedals so they don't scrape your ankles when you get on awkwardly
11. Bubble wrap the road so it doesn't hurt when you fall off
12. Make a cocoon for your baby so he bounces when he falls over
13. Protect your PC from AOL by wrapping all their free discs in bubble wrap
14. Shut you friends up with it
15. Wrap up your lawnmower.. No reason, I'm just getting desperate for more uses.
16. Wrap up your morning toast so it doesn't matter which way up it lands
17. Protect your knives from the little kids
18. Wrap it round the steering wheel and eliminate the need for airbags
19. Twist it and make a lot of loud popping noises to piss of the rest of the family
20. Larger bubbles make deeper notes. You could write a symphony
21. Bubble rap
22. Protect people from sharks' teeth by wrapping up the sharks
23. Wrap up the sea so that it floats to the top with the sharks
24. Use a few layers on your wheel rims and you don't need a new tire
25. Carry it around as an emergency air supply
26. Attach it to every wall in the Titanic II so that it still floats even when sinking
27. Soft hankies
28. Soft bog rolls
29. Air cushioned soles
30. Fill some with water and you can have a waterbed
31. Make a shrine to bubble wrap
32. Cut out individual bubbles and use them as a fashion statement
33. Fill it with water and make ice pebbles
34. E.Z. Swim trunks
35. Little sauce sachets for Tabasco sauce helpings
36. Make fake spots and pretend to squeeze them. Gross out your friends!
37. The big version works as tear-off disposable whoopee cushions
38. Put it on a red piece of paper and use it in a movie about the colonisation of Mars
39. Center Parc domes for fleas
40. Print fake tyre tracks all over mum's clean kitchen floor
41. An alarm system to wake you up
42. Drop your mobile and see it bounce!
43. Wrap up drum kits to finally shut the drummer up
44. Wrap up blind people so that nothing hurts them
45. Carry some with you so you can float home from your desert island
46. Put it in some chocolate... We all like our bubbly chocolate
47. Special contraceptives for extra stimulation
48. Roll down hills in it
49. When quitting smoking, use it to relieve your stress by annoying everyone else with the noise rather than the fag smoke
50. New-age Lego
51. Build your greenhouses from it. It's refractive index will reach even higher temperatures for your melons to be huge
52. Become a spy and put it on the soles of your shoes so they make no sound
53. Cheapo breast implants
54. Earthquake-proofing
55. Soundproofing walls
56. Colonic irrigation
57. Construct a bouncy castle and have a mega birthday party
58. Finger-friendly braille
59. Space helmet for a mouse
60. Bouncy draughts
61. Send it into space to show alien species how technologically advanced the human race is
62. Shower curtain for free
63. Wrap up everything below a foot from the ground so you don't stub your toe ever again
64. Orthopaedic socks
65. Something to land on when you fall out of bed
66. Chop the tops off and use them as contact lenses
67. Ant rafts
68. A bed of nails f

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