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Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about VODKA.
Vodka is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about
yourself and your actions.
Vodka can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world
that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Vodka almost immediately, and with a
regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you
from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will
discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start
living, with Vodka.
Vodka may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing
should not use Vodka. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or
becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration,
erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of
money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,
headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play
all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when
you are not.
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and
over again that you love them.
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse
with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
0 Comments 298 weeks
IF WOMEN DRINK THESE DRINKS IN A PUB (not at home).
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; GIN AND TONIC / SCOTCH AND SODA
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.
Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.
BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.
SPIRITS SUCH AS CC, WILD TURKEY, SOUTHERN COMFORT
Personality: Watch out, they are unique! A real mixture of personalities. Love to be laid!
Approach: Talk dirty to them whilst challenging them intellectually - you're in!
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.
SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, COWBOYS, AFTERSHOCK ETC.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, nothing to do but wait...
SPIRITS SUCH AS JACKS, BEAM & BUNDY
Personality: Enjoys male company more than females, loves to party hard
Approach: Keep buying them drinks, they'll think you're a nice bloke and they are probably trying to work out how to get you to bed!
IF MEN DRINK in a PUB (as always, very simple and clear cut).
He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.
CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER
He's poor / student and wants to get laid.
CASTLE LAGER BEER
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
He's old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid
He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.
VODKA OR BRANDY
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.
Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.
He doesn't give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.
RUM OR TEQUILA
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.
BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC
He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change.
0 Comments 300 weeks
Just a small town girl, livin in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south detroit
He took the midnight train goin anywhere
A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on
Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night
Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin anything to roll the dice,
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on
Dont stop believin
Hold on to the feelin
0 Comments 300 weeks
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