*cough* It has been brought to my attention that Aimee has decided to tell the nation that i am the lesbian in our relationship. I feel that i need to speak out, and explain to everyone the REAL truth.

For many a year now Aimee K and i have been the best of friends. We have been ''joined at the hip'' to quote my Ger, and it has been a great expierence. From the underage drinking of whiskey in ribena bottles in my bedroom to the not getting into the Glenavon and going to Mc Donalds.

All through this, it has become apparent that Aimee thinks of me as more than just a friend. Despite what she would have you believe, she has been looking at ME for years. This was revealed through her own admission that when we were in our youth and went to the swimming pool and got changed together she would in fact ''sneak a peak'' when i would tell her to face the other way so i could get changed.

Me and Aimee also took a trip to France last year. A great time. She had an extra special good time, as she used to ''sun burn'' as the reason for asking me to rub after sun on her. Really though, she just wanted me to touch her.

Though, this was not the only lesbian behaviour Aimee was involved in while we holidayed. OH NO. One night, in the pitch black while we were both extremely drunk Aimee was lying awake. I was just about to doze off, the next thing i felt her hand on me while she sang ''( Lets get it onnnn'' in thee single most scary voice i've ever heard her use. It still haunts me

Anyway, i had basically forgotten about this behaviour until Easter Monday. When, out at the vault a drunken Aimee decided to once again reveal her true colours ( YAY GAY PRIDE!) and KISS me. Using tounges and all. *swear to god*

As if all of this were not enough, she continued this acting until last friday when we were having lunch in supervalue. She turned to me, with a seductive glint in her eye and asked me with her saucy voice if i would like her lolly pop stick. Now, i now what your thinking. That doesnt sound very lesbianese at all. BUT you are missing the vital fact. It was still in her mouth!

So there you have it. I hope that clears a few things up for you. Aimee is the queer in this relationship. Which is why she goes through men like i go through sweets, she cant stick with them too long incase they realise.


P.s Conor is not a cover 8-) Much........