THE GODFATHERS

Do you spend time with your family? Good. Because a man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man.

It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.

Mr. Corleone never asks a second favor once he's refused the first, understood?

I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse.

I don't feel I have to wipe everybody out, Tom. Just my enemies.

I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!

Tom, you know you surprise me. If anything in this life is certain - if history has taught us anything - it's that you can kill anybody.

Fredo, you're nothing to me now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at the hotels, I don't want you near my house. When you see our mother, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?

Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgment.

SCARFACE

I'm Tony Montana! You fuck with me, you fuckin' with the best!

You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay.

Say hello to my little friend!

All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one

How'm I gonna get a scar like that eating pussy?

You think I kill two kids and a woman? FUCK THAT! I don't need that shit in my life!

PULP FICTION

See Ezekiel 25:17 ->

Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot fuckin' master.
Would you give a guy a foot massage?
FUCK YOU!

DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?

Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.

Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face.

OTHERS

lets go fucking mental

Are you tryin' to mug me off in front of my pals?

It's been emotional.

If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya.

I am McLovin!

I have a boner!

McLovin? Were you violating that young girl? Were you violating her with you penis?

Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock.

Jezzy, iz you wearing green? I knew it - you iz defected to the Iver 'Eath posse, innit? Come on - let's stab him!

Yes, I iz actually spasticated. I iz got a terrible DJ'ing injury - I still ain't got full mobility in me main mixing finger...

R.E.S.T.E.C.P! Do ya even know wha it spellz?

If you iz watching dis in da UK, you may remember me from da telly. If you iz in Belgium... you iz living in a shit hole.

Show me your nozzle.
You what. Oh you wanna see me knob.

Max: [trying to talk to school kids] Yo this is Maxster MC, listen up Posse. Can I get a Re-E-Wind.
[to Paddy]
Max: I'm getting down with kids.


Max: Hey. Le Beer. Le Dickhead. Watch it son.


[discussing what to do with an Giant Inflatable Penis]
Young Kenny: Can't we disguise it?
Brian Potter: Yeah we can, we'll put a wool hat on it and say it's you.
Dodgy Eric: It's not what it looks Brian.
Brian Potter: Not what it looks. Not what it looks. It's a twenty-foot cock and balls man. It don't look like nothing else, it's not happening.

Brian Potter: It just came to me in a dream, like St. Paul on the road to Domestos.

Brian Potter: I want to speak to the organist, not the monkey grinder.

Brian Potter: Don't talk to me about upper body strength, Lesley! My forearms are massive!
Les: An' we all know why that is don't we? Too much "Trumpet Polishin'"

Max: On its not fair Paddy. If only I'd met the right woman
Paddy:If only you'd met A woman!

Why do we always have the wrong number? You might have the wrong fucking house!

My phone will ring at two in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?" I don't fucking know! If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!

At school they made you do stuff, like swim in your pyjamas, what the hell point was that? You'll be asleep. Someone comes up to you and goes, "Somebody's drowning!". You'll be like, "I don't give a fuck. I was havin' a lovely dream."

I actually spent four days in my hotel room 'cause I closed the door and there was a sign on the door saying "Do Not Disturb" and I thought, "Fuck I can't get out!"... In my cupboard was a blanket and a pillow, that was the worst night's sleep I've ever fucking had.

You'll say to my goldfish, "Sleep!" and it'll go, "I CAN'T! I'VE GOT NO FUCKING EYELIDS! I'M KNACKERED!"

I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.

What is it with McDonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you're ordering? It has to be a McChicken burger...a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well, I'll have a McStraw and jam it into your McEyes, you f**cking McTosser!

Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I
realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him
to forgive me.

Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you'd
better have a good hand.

Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've
got your hand or head stuck in something.