Filip Sebo once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Filip Sebo allows to live.

When Filip Sebo was born, the nurse said, "Holy Crap! That's Filip Sebo!" Then she had had s*x with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

When Filip Sebo goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Filip Sebo could use to kill you, including the room itself.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed a tenner from Filip Sebo and forgot to pay him back.

Filip Sebo can count backwards from infinity.

Crop circles are Filip Sebo' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.

When Filip Sebo jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Filip Sebo instead.

Filip Sebo can divide by zero.

In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Filip Sebo, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

Filip Sebo is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's ****.

Filip Sebo has two speeds: walk and kill.

Filip Sebo is the reason why Wally is hiding.

Filip Sebo can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

You are what you eat. That is why Filip Sebo’s diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

Filip Sebo played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

On his birthday, Filip Sebo randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

When Filip Sebo does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Filip Sebo coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

Filip Sebo haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Filip Sebo punched himself in the face.

Filip Sebo, David Hasselhoff, Chuck Norris and Mr T once all met in a bar, it exploded as no room can contain that much cool!

Filip Sebo is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Filip Sebo is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Filip Sebo!

Filip Sebo can touch MC Hammer.

They once made a Filip Sebo toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.

Filip Sebo once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Someone once tried to tell Filip Sebo that head-butts aren't the best way to kill someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

The jackhammer was invented after a construction worker saw Filip Sebo having sex.

If Filip Sebo was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Neil Lennon, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Lennon twice.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Filip Sebo spared your life.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Filip Sebo. Sounds like a fair fight.

Filip Sebo was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Filip Sebo

jus finished our 10 day trek through the outback an it was awesome. heat was a bit crazy. i mean, comin from glasgow i'm not really used to 47 degree heat in the middle of the desert. we're in a town jus now called alice springs. its full of tourists, aborigines and inbreds!!! bit like cambuslang in a way!!! jus bout to head to airport for flight to the big lights of sydney. cant wait to get back to civilisation!!!

well folks we've now moved on to adelaide. took 10 hours on a bus from melbourne!! an it turns out that the only good thing bout adelaide is the weather. melbourne was hot but very windy an here is jus plain roastin!! scary thing is adelaide reminds me a lot of glasgow. its borin, theres a street thats identical to buchanan street and its full of jake balls askin for change!! weirdest thing i've seen yet tho was a girl asked me for money an she brought me back change!!! dont see that everyday. we'll be leavin here on thursday mornin tho an headin into real inbred country to do a 10 day trek up to alice springs. after that we're off to sydney so i'll add a wee bit once we get there. unless i meet an aborigine who has broadband!!