*You get asked, "How are you?" and you answer, "I'm 20 years old."

*Your Mother says that at 25, you're too young to have a boyfriend.

*There is an accident and you are the only one laughing.

*Asked for the time, you say, "Sree Firty" instead of "Three Thirty."

*Your Mother has a better throwing arm than your Father.

*You find half a loaf of hard Samoan bread on the couch

*You ask for a dust-pan and you get handed a magazine or a newspaper.

*You find a 6 year old kid still in nappies playing in front of the house.

*You run into Grandma at the Shopping Centre wearing one white and one
red sock ... with jandals.

*Being whacked with a leather belt is considered discipline not child abuse.

*At any major function, instead of a plate, your food comes in a box
that used to hold a 24-pack of soft drink.

*You see someone chasing a kid around the house with a se'evae
(shoe) or
the salu (Samoan broom.)

*You run into a mountain of shoes blocking the front door.

*You find a life-time supply of saimigi (instant noodles) in the kitchen cupboards.

*You get a severe beating with a rubber jandal but had to go fetch it
first.

*You ask for some gel to put in your hair before you go out and your Mum
throws you a bottle of Baby Oil instead.

*You have a huge gap between your first two toes, (excessive jandal wear.)

*You're the only ones swimming at the public pools with t-shirts on.

*When you went to Primary School, your daily lunch consisted of a packet of Twisties.

*You can sprint barefoot on sharp stones and rocks.

*You wake up and go out with somo (sleep) still in your eyes.

*You have an Aunty with a fully grown moustache.

*You go to a Samoan Social and the band are wearing dark shades eventhough its late in the evening.

*Your first and last names are the same.

*You have a perpetually drunk Uncle who starts fights at family weddings and anybody elses.

*You call a computer - (gomputa), Coke - (Goke) and drugs - (trucks)

*You've been given a hiding by your Father that's lasted more than half
and hour.

*Your sister has more muscular legs than your Father.

*You have sat in a 4-seater car with up to 8 other people.

*You make that funny kissing sound with your lips when you're trying to get someones attention.

*You can speak with your face - eg. Twitch like a rabbit to ask, What do you want?"

*You've tried to ride your ten-speed bike on the Motorway.

*You call all cross-trainers/running shoes 'Air Chordans.'

*All cereals are called 'Gorn Flakes.'

*Your Grandmother thinks Samoan massage and Vicks Vapo-Rub is the
miracle cure for everything (including broken bones ...)

*You're getting a hiding and your parents ask, "Why you cry for?"

*You've had your hair fuki'd (pulled) by your Mother in front of
schoolmates at the Supermarket.

*You think you're a pro at volleyball.

*You have a huge banquet on Sunday and live on coco-rice for the rest of
the week.

*Your parents are at the Drive-Thru at KFC and ask if they can get their
order 'to go.'

*You bring your palagi friends over to watch
"FRIENDS" and just as it starts, your Mum turns the TV off and says, "ia
fai tatou loku ... (time for our family prayer ...")

*You've had an afro at some stage in your life (boys AND girls)and
thought you looked cool.

*You have an Uncle who STILL dresses up like and
thinks he is Elvis.

*You almost drown at the beach and when the lifeguards return you to
your parents, they kindly thank them, then wait till they've left before
they both take turns at beating the living shit*
out of you.

*You're at your Aunties and see your 2 year old cousin doing fe'aus
(household chores.)

*Your Aunty visits and shes talking to you at the same time as looking in your pots for food ...

*You go to Samoa rich and come back poor.

*You get passed the collection basket in church and you just shake it.