1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).

3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words "F**K you" and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for mile so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her our jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop complaining about the cold right now, you're going to be complaining about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all night.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny...why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball).

15. After you have made love, say "listen toots, put your knickers back on and go make me a cup of tea".
If she laughs, is not out of the bed within 3 seconds, is not back within 3.5 minutes, or the tea is crap/does not come with decent biscuits (or any combination of the above) tell her that it's over until she learns to make better cups of tea; a Woman loves to better herself - give her the chance to do so.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way, she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt and say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say "no, it's just the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.

21. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

22. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that material objects arent important. The only thin

1 Full Name: Ronan George Runciman
2 Nicknames: ronster, ronst, r dog
3 Birthday: 21.06.92
4 Place of Birth: BGH
5 Zodiac Sign: not sure
6 Male or Female: female
7 Year At School: 4th
8 School: EHS
9 Occupation: Business Executive
10 Residence: Upper Blainslie farmhouse
11 MSN Screen Name: Ronan George

Your Appearance

12 Hair Colour: Dark
13 Hair Length: short
14 Eye color: brown/green
16 Height: 6ft1
17 Braces?: Nope
18 Glasses?: o ye
19 Piercings: nipples
20 Tattoos: no
21 Righty or Lefty: bothy

Your 'Firsts'

22 First Best Friend: hamish and mark i think
23 First Award: bafta for directing a beast film
24 First Sport: rugby
25 First pet: Fergus (My Cat)
26 First Real Vacation: USA! o yes
27 First Concert: Mr boom from the moon or singing keetle. cant remeber wat was first
28 First Love: television

Favorites

29 Movie: Rockys, Rambos and will smiths
30 TV programme: biker mice
31 Colour: Blue
32 Rapper: kinder egg
33 Band: killers and daft punk
34 Song Right Now: several
35 Friends: Joey and Phebe
36 Sweet: dairy milk friut and nut
37 Sport to Play: rugby or rim raiding
38 Restuarant: Ritz
39 Favorite Brand: leckie and leckie, those guys got me some beast grades in the exams
40 Store: bunts, or if im feeling classy officers club
41 School Subject: P.E. or English coz its beast banter
42 Animal: Cats and giraffes
43 Book: Hazza P and duncan bannatyne
44 Magazine: Mens health is pretty good
45 Shoes: yes

Currently

46 Feeling: happy
47 Single or Taken: Single
48 Have a Crusha: not right now, but a do love that milkshake
49 Eating: airwaves
50 Drinking: Nothing
51 Typing: This
52 On MSN?: Nope
53 Listening To: Eagle-Eye Cherry, Save Tonight. its good
54 Thinking About: what to type
55 Wanting To: stupid question
56 Watching: The comp, these are gettin worse
57 Wearing: clothes ( bloooooody hell!)

Your Future

58 Want Kids?: Yeah
59 Want to be Married?: Yes
60 Careers in Mind: P.E. teacher
61 Where do you want to Live: dunno, australia would b pretty beast if a leave scotland
62 Car: micra (duh)

Which is Better With The Opposite Sex

63 Hair Colour: blond/brunette. as long as it aint something mental like green
64 Hair Length: not bothered
65 Eye Colour: Anything
66 Measurments: 5ft 6, 8 stone 3lbs. but im not picky
67 Cute or Sexy: sexy
68 Lips or Eyes: tits
69 Hugs or Kisses: sex
70 Short or Tall: Doesn't Matter
71 Easygoing or Serious: easygoing
72 Romantic or Spontaneous: duno wat the second one is, so that narrows it down.
73 Fatty or Skinny: o ye a want someone fat! but not 2 far skinny, like if they eat a pea there sick and shit.
74 Sensitive or Loud: Not too Sensitive, but must know when to pipe down
75 Hook-up or Relationship: dont mind
76 Sweet or Caring: same thing
77 Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: happy medium

Have you ever

78 Kissed a Stranger: No. actually ye
79 Had Alcohol: no, am an athlete
80 Smoked: no , am an athlete
81 Ran Away From Home: a once went on a run that was in a different direction from my house, so yes.
82 Broken a Bone: Nope
84 Been with Someone: Yes
85 Broken Someones Heart: murder? no
86 Broke Up With Someone: Yes
87 Cried When Someone Died: Not really known anyone whos died thankfully. a did when fergus (the cat) died
88 Cried At School: nope. a did at primary school, fell and bumped my knee

Do You Believe In

89 God: sort of
90 Miracles: na not really
91 Love At First sight: nope
92 Ghosts: no
93 Aliens: not sure, hope not
94 Soul Mates: its possible
95 Heaven: not really, but it would be cool if there was one
96 Hell: same as above. except a imangine that woont b so cool coz its really hot and firey. and theres pitch forks which would be sore
97 Angels: Naaa
98 Kissing on The First Date: Yeah.
99 Horoscopes: no way

Answer Truthfully

100 What day is it? saturday. that wasnt so bad

1.) It is ok for a Man to cry under the following circumstances:
- When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
- The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
- After wrecking your boss' car.
- One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
- When she is using her teeth.

2.) Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.

3.) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

4.) If you've known a Man for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

5.) Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friend's fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6.) No Man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another Man. In fact, even remembering your friend's birthday is strictly optional.

7.) On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

8.) When stumbling upon other men watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

9.) It is permissible to drink a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.

10.) Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another Man in the nuts.

11.) Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

12.) Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

13.) If a Man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

14.) Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

15.) A Man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

16.) Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just mean.

17.) If you compliment a Man on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

18.) Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

19.) Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another Man while lifting weights:
- Yeah, Baby, Push it!
- C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
- Another set and we can hit the showers!

20.) Never talk to a Man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

21.) Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

22.) The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.

23.) There is no reason for guys to watch Men's Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

24.) When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

25.) You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call 'BULLSHIT!'.
Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent.

26.) The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.

27.) Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up wit