Dnt fal 4 da 1 u love u nli end up gtn hurt and its sht gt pisd nstead

-when u go to functions the first thing u ask, is there gonna be food?

-when people ask u about going to functions u ask, is it free to get in?

-You go to the suppermarket to eat the grapes.

-the first thing u do when u get home is look in the fridge.

-when u snatch for the last piece of food on the plate.

-when u dont sell all your raffle tickets

-the best way of fundraising is selling hangis.

-when u dont read the instructions properly.

-when u jump the que of the line.

-when u lend your cousins money they never give it back.

-when you lend yor cousins money and they always pay it back bit by bit and never in full. (or they keep saying next week)

-when pay day is always on tuesday (Doll day)

-when working for a relative, he pays u by buying u lunch everyday.

-You line up 4 kisses when you are supposesd to do the dishes at the marae.

-when u think your cousin is hot.

-U hook up wit yor m8s hookup, (lunch cutter)

-You go to the ball with your cousin.

-A nice restaurant is an 'all you can eat' place.

-Someone in your family got pregnant at 15.

-A sleeve is a form of tissue for your nose.

-You have to do dishes more than 3 times a day.

-Breakfast is the left over food from last night.

-Your sent to pick watercress for a funeral, 3 o'clock in the morning.

-You organise for a get together at 2 o'clock, and everyone shows up at 5.

-You get a hiding with a jandal/gumboot/chord/spoon

-when your uncle has kickd u up the arse before.

-when you have got punched in the head by yor old man and your ear starts ringing for hours.

-You can sprint barefoot on sharp rocks.

-You visit cuzzies, and someone's wearing the clothes you left behind last time u wer ther!

-You and your cousins sit around, and dis everyone who walks past.

-Your brother is over protective of you, then he beats up his missus.

-You have brothers or sisters with different mothers or fathers.

-You give the longest shout outs on the radio.

-You have 6 people in the back seat of the car.

-You go home after school on a Wednesday, and your parents are having a
party.

-In a photo, someone's pulling some kind of gang related hand signal.

-Your mum cuts your hair cos you keep getting kutu's.

-Your at a party, and your aunty turns the stereo off then starts playing the guitar.

-You know all the words to 10 guitars.

-You see someone wearing your shoes that went missing at the marae.

-The words 'ow' 'chur' and 'sweet' are part of your vocabulary.

-you go to school to eat the other kids lunch

-you go to school to watch the teacher teach the other kids

-you hav 2 walk to skool even if u live on the other side of town.

-you give the pakeha kid a hiding for calling you dum

- bullrush was your favourite sport

-You get ur pakeha partner to go rent the flat

-you think ur tribe is the best in the world

-your dad cuts your hair, gets hoha and leaves the other half for the next day after school!!

-all your marbles are ball bearings and you try to pass them off as steelies

-Hello and goodbye is said by raising your eyebrows.

-you laughed at how the crocodile hunter died.

-your jandals / gumboots are: ur running shoes, ur work shoes, ur flippers and ur going out shoes.

-your a girl and swimming togs are shorts and t-shirt. (and ur in Maui, Hawaii, where all they wear is bikinis).

-you do bombs at the public pools where it says no bombing.

-brushing your hair is ... just putting on a beanie.

-your Dad is also your Koro

-you start driving, smoking and drinking when you are in form one

-you're good at touch

-at least one of your relations is a Coconut

-you cant speak Maori but are fluent when you are drunk

-you laugh at everyone who cant sing

-you laugh at everyone who cant dance

-you laugh at everyone who cant do both at the same time

-your at a party with the guitar and everyone only knows half the words

FAKE FRiENDS: Never ask for food.
REAl FRiENDS: are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRiENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAl FRiENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM or cher

FAKE FRiENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAl FRiENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn ... we fucked up ... but that shit was fun!"

FAKE FRiENDS: never seen you cry.
REAl FRiENDS: cry with you

FAKE FRiENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAl FRiENDS: keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRiENDS: know a few things about you.
REAl FRiENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRiENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAl FRiENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRiENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAl FRiENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

FAKE FRiENDS: Are for awhile.
REAl FRiENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRiENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAl FRiENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste shit."

FAKE FRiENDS: will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAl FRiENDS: Will knock them the fuck out

FAKE FRIENDS: Will read this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will steal this, just like i did