Andy W: You do know there are more guns in the country than there are in the city.
Andy C: Everybody and their mums is packin' round here.
Nicholas: Like who?
Andy W: Farmers.
Nicholas: Who else?
Andy C: Farmers' mums.

[Andy Wainwright takes a mouthful of beer, leaving froth on his moustache]
Nicholas: You've got a moustache.
Andy W: [scoffing] I know.

Nicholas: Martin Blower was clearly having an affair with Eve Draper.
Andy W: Oh, and how did you establish that?
Danny: [pounding the table] 'Cause we sat through three hours of so-called acting last night, and the kiss was the only convincing moment in it!
Andy W: All right, pipe down, biggun'.

Andy C: Here, what else you got, Crockett and Tubby?
Nicholas: Skid marks.
[Andy C snickers]
Andy W: Now who's being childish?
Nicholas: There were no skid marks at the scene! Doesn't it seem a little strange that Martin Blower would lose control of his car and not think to apply the brakes?

Andy W: You wanna be a big copper in a small town? Fuck off up the model village.

Andy W: What're you thinking? Foul play?
Nicholas: Maybe...
Andy W: We're just hoping to talk to the last people to see Mr Merchant alive. Namely a Sergeant Knickerless Asswipe and Cuntstable Fanny Batterbum.
Danny: [smiling] That's us!

Nicholas: [dropping some coins in the swear box] Leslie Tiller was fucking murdered!
Andy C: Just like Tim Messenger?
Nicholas: Yes!
Andy W: George Merchant?
Nicholas: Yes!
Andy C: And Eve Draper?
Nicholas: Yes!
Andy W: Martin Blower?
Nicholas: No, actually.
Andy W and Andy C: [in unison] Really?
Nicholas: 'Course he fuckin' was! [Danny drops some money in the swear box] Thank you, Danny!

Andy W: Murder, murder, murder — change the fuckin' record!

Andy C: There's a point. What were you doing there?
Nicholas: I was buying Constable Butterman a peace lily for his birthday.
Andy W: What absolute 'orseshit.

Nicholas: Look I can assure you it wasn't my intention to upset the apple cart.
Andy C: [sarcastically] Yeah, 'cause we all sell apples 'round here, don't we?
Danny: Your dad sells apples, Andy.
Andy C: And raspberries.

Nicholas: Okay, what about this guy? Ask yourself, why has he got his hat pulled down like that?
Danny: He's fuck-ugly.
Nicholas: Or he doesn't want you to see his face.
Danny: 'Cause he's fuck-ugly.

Danny: Yeah, he's Auntie Jackie's sister's brother's boy.
Nicholas: And it didn't occur to you to mention this before?
Danny: I couldn't see his face, could I? I'm not made of eyes!

Martin: Sergeant Angel, you came. So thrilled you accepted my invitation.
Nicholas: Well our Inspector requested we attend, so...
Danny: Yeah, we can't accept gifts from someone we've officially rebuked, so - [blows a raspberry and gives two fingers] Jog on!

Danny: What made you want to become a policeman?
Nicholas: Officer.
Danny: What made you want to be a policeman officer?

Danny: How's Lurch?
Nicholas: Uh, he's in the freezer.
Danny: Did you say "cool off?"
Nicholas: No, I didn't say anything actually.
Danny: Shame.
Nicholas: There was a bit earlier on that you missed where I distracted him with the cuddly monkey and then I said "playtime's over", and I hit him with the peace lily.
Danny: You're off the fuckin' chain!

Nicholas: You're a doctor. Deal with it.
Danny: Yeah, motherfucker.

Nicholas: Hag.
Joyce: I beg your pardon?
Nicholas: "Evil old woman considered frightful or ugly." It's twelve down.
Joyce: Oh! Bless you.

Nicholas: [flashes badge] When's your birthday?
Kid #1: 22nd of February.
Nicholas: What year?
Kid #1: Every year.

[Nicholas has just arrived at the station with several arrestees in tow]
Sgt Turner: [peering at Nicholas' badge] "Nicholas Angel"... Oh! When did you start?
Nicholas: Tomorrow.
Sgt Turner: Oh. Well, I see you've already arrested the whole village.

Nicholas: [the morning after arresting Danny] Why are you dressed like a police officer?
Danny: Be

~YOU CAN SING THE RAP TO "THE FRESH PRINCE OF BELL AIR"
~"I WANNA HAVE SEX ON THE BEACH" WAS ONE OF THE BEST SONGS EVA.
~"I KNOW U ARE BUT WOT AM I" WAS THE BEST COMEBACK.
~YOU REMEMBER WHEN IT WAS ACTUALLY WORTH GETTING UP ON A
SATURDAY MORNING TO WATCH LIVE & KICKING OR SM:TV.
~ON SM:TV WONKY DONKY WAS HILARIOUS.
~YOU HAD A HUGE FRINGE AT SOME POINT IN YOUR CHILDHOOD.
~YOU REMEMBER READING AND WATCHING "GOOSEBUMPS"
~YOU TOOK PLASTIC CARTOON LUNCH BOXES TO SCHOOL.
~YOU KNOW THE WORDS FROM THE SHAKEY JAKE MILKSHAKE ADVERTS
~YOU REMEMBER THE CRAZE OF YO-YOS AND TAMAGOTCHI'S
~YOU STILL GET THE URGE TO SAY "NOT" AFTER EVERY SENTENCE. NOT.
~YOU KNEW THAT KIMBERLY, THE PINK RANGER, AND TOMMY, THE GREEN RANGER WERE MEANT TO BE.
~YOU COLLECTED POKEMON CARDS.
~YOU PLAYED AND/OR COLLECTED POGS.
~YOU HAD A WEIRD ALIEN THAT LIVED IN GOOEY STUFF IN A PLASTIC 'POD' AND
THOUGHT IF YOU STUCK 2 BACK TO BACK THEY WOULD HAVE A BABY!
~YOU WATCHED THE ORIGINAL POSTMAN PAT, FIREMAN SAM AND NINJA TURTLES.
~YOU LOVED BIKERMICE FROM MARS.
~YIKES PENCILS WERE THE BEST!-WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?
~YOU REMEMBER WHEN THE NEW BEANIE BABIES WERE ALWAYS SOLD OUT
~YOU GOT YOUR MUM TO BUY 'BN' BISCUITS
~YOU USED TO WEAR THOSE STICK ON EARRINGS, NOT ONLY ON YOUR EARS BUT AT THE CORNERS OF YOUR EYES.
~YOU KNOW THE MACERENA BY HEART.
~"TALK TO THE HAND" ENOUGH SAID.
~YOU REMEMBER THE TIME BEFORE LITERACY AND NUMERACY HOUR EXISTED.
~YOU THOUGHT BRAIN FROM "PINKEY AND THE BRAIN" WOULD FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
~YOU REMEMBER BUM BAGS.
~YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE ON FUN HOUSE.
~ YOU SED U WOULD ALWAYS WRITE A COMPLAINT TO THE TV PROGRAMME "SHORTCHANGE".
~YOU COLLECTED TAZOS.
~2 WORDS, SPICE GIRLS.
~2 MORE, ARE SHIT

I want people to write down the greatest memories that they've had with me, so i can look back at you guys when we all leave school... Only good memories please!!
THANKYOU x