14 things to do in Tesco whilst your other half is shopping
>
>
>01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys
> when they aren't looking.
>
>02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute
> intervals
>
>03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies
> toilet.
>
>04. Walk up to an employee and tell him?her in an official tone:
> Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.
>
>05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.
>
>06. Move a 'CAUTION -WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
>07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you
> are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the
> bedding Department.
>
>08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask:
> "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
>
>09. Look right into the security
>camera, use it as a mirror and pick
>your nose.
>
>10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if
he
> knows where the anti-depressants are located.
>
>11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme
> from Mission Impossible.
>
>12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse
>through,
>say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"
>
>13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and
> assume the foetal position and scream "NO! ........It's those voices
> again!!!"
>
>And last but not least:
>
>14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell
> loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here."

 

.
1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better": this will keep her on her toes. And girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (Or, if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be". repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.

5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.

6. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."

7. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.

8. play with her hair. play with it HARD.

9. warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." the best way to get warm is with fear.

10. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

11. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn't girls?

12. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. like basketball.

13. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

14. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

15. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say no she's not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

16. look her in the eyes and smile. then clock her one. girls love a spontaneous guy.

17. give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. a bad smell. you know what i'm talking about.

18. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

19. if youre listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she'll think you're mysterious.

20. remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects arent important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

21. when she gives you a present on your birthday, christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. girls actually don't like this one that much but i think it's funny.

1. Are we friends?........
2. When and how did we meet?........
3. Do you like me?.........
4. Have you ever wanted to punch me?........
5. Give me a nikname and explain why?........
6. Describe me in 1 word........
7. what was ur first impression ov me?.......
8. do u still fink the same?......
9. What reminds u ov me?.....
10. If you could giv me anything wot wod it b?......
11. Would u meet me?......
12. Would u fuck me?.....
13. Eva wanted 2 tell me sumthing u couldnt?......
14. When and where was ur fav memory/experience wit me?
15. Am i a good friend?
16. Am i funny?
17. Do u think i flirt allot?
18. Have i ever done something that annoyed/s you?
19. Have i ever slept with you?
20. What is your fav thing about me?