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- Fuck Me... Im Famous!!
- Me, Myself, and I
- Fuck me badly once.. Shame on you
Fuck me badly twice.. Shame on ME
Heartbreaks and promises, I’ve had more than my share
I’m tired of giving my love and getting nowhere, nowhere
What I need is somebody who really cares
I really need a lover, a lover who wants to be there
It’s been so long since I touched a wanting hand
I can’t put my love on the line, that I hope you’ll understand
I’m tired of getting caught up in those one night affairs
What I really need is somebody who will always be there
Don’t you promise me the world, all that I’ve already heard
This time around for me baby, actions speak louder than words
Oxegen 2009: Aoife and John sneak onto the disabled stage...... Security - Hey you!! Are you disabled?? Aoife - No.......... but he is (pointing to John dancing) Security- And whats his disability?? Aoife - Well...........hes just like REALLY unsound!!!!!Security - GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE...... ha ha ha ha funniest moment ever....
- The Other Half Of Me
I take her to the GAY BAR GAY BAR WAOOOWWWW
- Nelly Furtados/Timbalands, chris lake, sebastian ledger, freemasons, david guetta, STING what a man, Air, Rihanna, I LOVE Daft Punk so much best concert, Royskopp, Basement Jaxx, bita george michael, eurythmics, Mylo D.J Shadow, Incubus, Cassie, Ciara, Prodigy, Coldplay, The fugees, kelis, Missy, Massive Attack, girls aloud, sugababes, All the latest club music cant forget!
- Any horror films, you name it I love it! love Mean Girls, Sweetest Thing, Cruel Intensions....Childhood film The Little Rascals, god I love that film! & of course the notebook..i cried i cried. Ultimate fav's are Death Becomes Her and Drop Dead Fred. hey snot face haha
- Extreme Sports... i like a good game of badminton, always gets the legs pumpin! love skiing miss it so much. soccer/basketball, tennis but that always gets very competitive (refer to karilyn).The driving range always gets the laughs going. Ring of fire.
- I drink WAYYYY too much coke so i would say thats my fav drink no doubt i actually am addicted.. no joke.. On the alcohol level nothing but the finest Budweiser to touch my lips. love sambuca shots tho i usually drink the whole bottle (lets not forget the christmas eve incident)
- Nicole Richie working for burger king in the simple life! hilarious. Making up funny card games whilst drunk. Aviator sunglasses, Martin King the weather guy on rte he is divine, when your hangovers not TOO bad, midnight snacking, free texts, realising the alarms gone off that half hour too early, sun holidays, having someone to cuddle, bargain buys, the trip to the airport, kfc popcorn chicken mmm, driving on sunny days, getting into fits of laughter with friends, being lazy, girly nights, snow, guilt free shopping.. when you check your account and theres a lil more than you thought, the random unplanned days that turn out the best, and of course having a duvet day beats everything!
- I F'IN HATE..
- Big headed people (you aint all that), lying, SLYNESS..no need for it you'll always get caught out! selfishness and stubborness. Cheese.. i FUCKING HATE IT, vinegar, arguing ugh!Dead battery, garda checkpoints Shitty weather which includes thunder and lightening its gonna send me to an early grave, the colours white and cream together, people who crack their bones, when your socks keep slipping down in your shoes, Ignorant drivers on their fucking mobiles! spiders i cant stand them, Monday mornings, The smell of public bathrooms, chinese animated cartoons, when the umbrella blows inside out(how embarrassing!), no signal. traffic, having to run for the bus...having to run for anything, cold tea, soggy biscuits, black and white films, people who shout down the phone, stepping on things whilst barefooted, not being warm, bad packet of crisps, 6 o"clock news, crying babies, being hungry, people who say "what?" when they clearly heard you and you have to repeat all over again
- Kelly Carolan
- Lisa Burgess
- Hazel Tracey
- John C
- Lisa O Neill
- Miss Hayley Roxanne P...
- Sarah Jackson
- Karilyn Keane
- Roisin O Shea
- Sarah Stanley
- Lia Petcu
- Sean Keane
- Arlene Standage
- Janis Moylan
- Dionne Lyons
- Lisa Nolan
- Louise Monks
- Robyn Gordon
- Lil Thing
- Hannah Cruickshank
- Deirdre Gill
- Kate Horan
- Lola White
- How well do you know Alex? 40 Taken
A brave woman everyone!
And guess what? You were LYING madam!
And guess what sweetheart? He was telling the TRUTH!
So you slept with three people whilst pregnant with his child...blimey
Don't pre-judge. There are two sides to every story
I'm just being honest babe
My brother used to be a heroin addict/ I have a 14 year old daughter/ My sister in law was an anorexic ballerina
Excuse me madam. This is my show. That's my name on the wall, I'm talking now. Sit down, shut up and let me speak, or get off my stage
Get a life, get a job and stop scrounging off me, and all of the other innocent tax payers of this country! Now get off my stage!
You stole somebodys wife sir!
Where I come from, men don't hit women
I didn't come to your dressing room, d'ya know why? Cause you DISGUST me!
Oh, and we can't forget the all important
I'm talking! Me! Me! I'm Jeremy Kyle, this is my how, and you're SCUM!
"AND THAT MADAM/YOUNG MAN IS A FACT!"
"LISTEN HERE YOUNG MAN!"
"WELL IN MY OPINION YOUNG LADY YOU ARE A DISGRACE!"
"GET UP OFF YOUR BACKSIDE AND GET A JOB!"
"THERE'S A BABY INVOLVED, AN INNOCENT CHILD!"
"FINALLY IT'S THE VOICE OF REASON!"
"LOOK AT HER LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO HER!"
"I HAVE RESPECT FOR YOU"
"YOU, SON, ARE NOT A REAL MAN"
"AS A BRITISH TAX PAYER"
"CHILDREN HAVING CHILDREN"
"WE'RE BACK AFTER THE BREAK WITH THOSE ALL IMPORTAN DNA RESULTS"
0 Comments 250 weeks
*1 star hangover
No pain. No real feeling of illness.
You slept in your own bed and when you woke up there were no traffic cones in there with you.
You are still able to function relatively well on the energy stored up from all those vodka and Red Bulls.
However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel as parched as the Sahara.
Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a bag of fries.
**2 star hangover
No pain, but something is definitely amiss.
You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler.
The coffee you hug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full Scottish breakfast.
Although you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is some light filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.
***3 star hangover
Slight headache. Stomach feels crap.
You are definitely a space cadet and not so productive.
Anytime a girl or lad walks by you gag because the perfume/aftershave reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 am.
Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a kebab and a litre of coke watching daytime TV.
You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 6 chicken nuggets and a litre of diet coke yet you haven't peed once.
****4 star hangover
You have lost the will to live.
Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might spew.
Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze.
You wore nice clothes, but you smell of socks, and you can't hide the fact that you (depending on your gender) either missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, or, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the dodgems.
You would give a weeks pay for one of the following - home time, a cheeseburger and somewhere to be alone, or a Time Machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.
*****5 star hangover
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits next to you.
Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy.
Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you.
You'd cry but that would take the last drop of moisture left in your body.
Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic.
You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is breathe ..... very gently.
******6 star hangover
You arrive home and climb into bed.
Sleep comes instantly, as you were fighting it all the way home in the taxi.
You get about 2 hours sleep until the noises inside your head wake you up.
You notice that your bed has been cleared for take off and is flying relentlessly around the room.
No matter what you do you now, you're going to chuck.
You stumble out of bed and now find that your room is in a yacht under full sail.
After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls knocking off all the pictures, you find the toilet.
If you are lucky you will remember to lift the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up with your impersonation of walrus mating calls.
You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in the world you have left (the toilet)
0 Comments 293 weeks
[x] You have screamed at an inanimate object for 'hurting' you.
[x] You have run into a glass/screen door.
[x] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
[ x] You have run into a lampost
T 0 T A L: 5
[x ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[x] You just tried to lick your elbow.
[x] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rythym.
[x] You just sang them to make sure.
[x] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[x] You have choked on your own spit.
T 0 T A L: 6
[x] You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
[ ] You've never seen the Matrix.
[x] You type only with two fingers
[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire
[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose.
[x] You have caught yourself drooling.
T 0 T A L: 4
[x] You have fallen asleep in class
[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking.
[x] Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you were talking about.
[x] People often shake their heads and walk away from you.
[x] You are often told to use your "inside voice".
T 0 T A L: 5
[x] You use your fingers to do simple math.
[x] You have eaten a bug accidently.
[ ] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
[X] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time!
T 0 T A L: 4
[ ] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't.
[x] You break a lot of things.
[x] You tilt your head when you're confused.
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before
[x] When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.
[X] The word "um" is used many times a day.
[x] You had to use a calculator to add this up.
T 0 T A L: 6
A L L T 0 G E T H E R: 30
NOW TAKE THIS AND MULTIPLY IT BY 3.
1 Comment 300 weeks
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