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- If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best
- Me, Myself, and I
- My name is Dave
Deal with it
I have a job now so things are pretty cool now, don't want to survive anymore, I want to live
but the only downfall is that my job cuts into my drinking time alot
I've loved everything to do with cars, tuning them, fixing them and driving them
Got any ideas for a first car post them and you may see me around in it
I live for the weekend now, get smashed and gate crash random parties haha
I like to party, help people out, mabye just be there for someone that needed it
I like to smoke the ganja, anytime of the day is a good time to have a blunt
Just leave comments and il get back to you
- The Other Half Of Me
My wife, or he acts like it
- anything you like except any crummy pop band like backstreet boyz or somthing
go to --> www.Basedrive.com D'n'B on tap
- dont really watch many films i've seen the sound of music more than 4 times, chainsaw massacre, horror films and shit
- sex mad
- ** Sex is a sensation , caused by temptation , a guy sticks his location , in a girls destination , to increase the population , of the next Generation , do u get my explanation or would you like a raunchy demonstration?! **
- Scared Of
- nothing really
- Happiest When
- being alive , being able to breathe deeply, working on cars, playing games
- Drunk Stages - Where are you?
- 1. Sober
2. Under the Influence
7. Mullered or Splatered
8. Cream Crackered
9. Fuckedy Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck
- J Robus
- Alex Long
- Damian Banfield
- Lee Clarke
- Hannie Jayne
- Baron Saturday
- Chazmin ♥
- Tom Pescott
- Ben Collyer
- Elisabeth P
- Scarlett Ballard
- .Dj CrazY G.
- Kyle Callaghan
- David Stanhope
- Si Eaton
- Daniel B
- Kelly-Anne Battershill
- Marc Miller
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."
"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat".
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted
1 Comment 251 weeks
Do you know when you know your walking by yourself, you always seem to be enraveled in your own little dreamworld, fantasizing about anything and everything, then suddenly, blinded by how beautiful this girl was, while she winks at you as you walk on by. If you only had one chance to have the time of your life with her, you would. And however much you think about it, you just know you have no chance.
I was never the ladies man, never had a chance just because of who I was. Long hair, glasses, old clothes. I had to work on my personallity because I didn't look half as good as Brad Pitt on one of his bad days. I never had the best looking girl after me. I never had the chance to show them I could love them more than anyone.
Now I spend my time wondering how pissed off a person in tokyo would be if you rang him at stupid o'clock or how fast you can run from a man wielding a baseball bat, after sleeping with his wife. After a good long while I always find myself thinking how insanely bored I am, or how people take the piss just because they can, or how much I want to smash a place up, just because I'm angry.
I never took the chance when I had it
Well do you know what?
Don't be boring all your life. Do whatever the feeling takes you, Go out and enjoy yourself
Take a chance and don't give a fuck about anything else
"We are only here once, we only have one crack at life, don't waste it"
I know i won't
6 Comments 361 weeks
I Have been told by many people that im a health and saftey hazzard to myself and the general public, and its true. Anybody that knows me can tell you how i am when i have a plan. just a couple of days ago i tried to jump into a bush and sliped, and got a bad case of gravel rash hahaha.
But really i'm a nice guy to know and always looking out for my friends, whereever I go.
0 Comments 362 weeks
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