I'm on facebook now.

For those of you who still use Bebo, you may have noticed that I haven't done much on here. It's not that I'm not online, it's just that I don't use Bebo. I may shut down my Bebo account, but for now I'm leaving it here, in case somebody's looking for me.

I'm also on Xanga at www.xanga.com/thegreatszalam but I really just use facebook.

Now online; the teaser trailer for a film I'm working on!
Check it out at www.myspace.com/thegreatszalam

Alllrighty people I'm obviously going to have a terrible life.

I've been away from the internet for a few days, I came back and found that, by golly, I had an inbox full of messages at Bebo.

ALL OF THEM were forwards. As per usual I ignored them.

Now I will have 10 years (or 30, maybe both) of bad sex, my crush will dump me for no reason, Sarah's rotting bloody corpse will come out of the bathtub drain and get me and I'm heartless and cruel.

I'm not worried about having bad sex, because I'm not married yet, and there are no prospects at the moment - it's quite likely I won't be having any sex for 10 years...
I'm not worried about my crush dumping me; I don't have one.
I'm not worried about Sarah's rotting corpse because that's a load of bull plop.
I'm not worried about being heartless and cruel, in fact I quite like it.

But I got to thinking; what if I had forwarded all of them on?
Apparently...
I would be getting kissed and fondled by my crush
I will have the best sex ever in three days (twice, apparently 'cause I got at least two of this email)
My crush will get together with me (I'm not sure if this is before or after I'm fondled by them.)
A snail or a fortune cookie (maybe both) will run across the screen and open up to reveal a secret crush.
AND MORE!!!

But you know what? All y'all that sent these messages to me, did it happen for you? Did it?

And besides, some of you are waaaay too young to be sending emails with that bad language in it. You would never say such things in front of me, don't say them to me in an email (I don't care if it's in a forward).

Also, none of you all are married, why would you be sending forwards that promise to let you have the best sex ever? Some of you aren't even 13!

Tsk, tsk.