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Ben Tavakoli

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  • Male, 24, Luv 36
  • from anahilt
  • Profile views: 13,047
  • Member since: May 2005
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About Me

The Other Half Of Me
swifty

swifty

he doesn't think about it, he just does it

Music
anything that sounds gd really. dubstep atm
Films
memento, the big lebowski, ferris bueller's day off, a scanner darkly, the squid and the whale, american psycho, lock stock, the departed, the last samurai, trading places, the last boy scout, menace II society, paranoid park, in bruges, good will hunting, don's plum, 500 days of summer
Sports
playin rugger, lunchtime football
Scared Of
the fact that wenever switty walks past a girl, she is ALWAYS givin him the eyes
Happiest When
with my mates and at the log. or in my bk garden playn headers and volleys
Song Of The Moment (U no its gona b fly)
Drake - Say Something (Prod. by Timbaland)

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help

Jamie Foxx Feat. T-Pain - Blame It

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  • MAN SHIT.



    1. OPENING JARS - She's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it
    effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars
    are men's work.

    2. CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids
    makes you the man.

    3. DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks - camp. A Stuart Pearce
    tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and
    crippling the man. Magic.

    4. SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here
    love. No, I don't need a sharpener, I've got a knife thanks!

    5. GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and- as
    you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish -
    noisy destruction.

    6. DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on
    and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding
    towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else
    struggles to catch up with you. You're hard.

    7. HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

    8. HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You on the other hand have physical evidence of your
    hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look
    like.

    9. NODDING AT COPPERS - A moment's eye contact is all it takes for you to
    share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past",it says,
    "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".

    10. USING POWER TOOLS - Slightly more powerful than you need or can safely
    handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.

    11. KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stick that Becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.

    12. ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE - And everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean
    you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed.
    However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.

    13. NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - Fat is a feminist issue, apparently.
    Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.

    14. CARVING THE ROAST - And saying "are you a leg or breast man?"
    to the blokes and "do you want stuffing?" to the women.
    Congratulations, you are now your dad.

    15. WINKING - Turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

    16. TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - Ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms
    with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until
    then, we'll make do with the aisles.

    17. TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - Okay, so its for paying the plumber
    later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing
    better is peeling notes off the roll later.

    18. PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - Unlike birds, we get
    straight to the point. "Alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then.
    Seven. See ya."

    19. PARALLEL PARKING - Bosh, straight in. First time. Can Schumacher do
    that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes
    you the worlds best driver.

    20. HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in
    the fields in blistering heat. Why? So when it's over we can stand there in
    silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the
    other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

    21. KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "A Phillips? For that? Are you mad?"


    22. HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - Especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".

    23. TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - A visual code that says that's right,
    I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized poo

    0 Comments 300 weeks

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  • Becca Orr
    Becca Orr

    I just made $14 in a week just working at home! Check it out at - http://x.co/KT7P You will thank me!

    11/22/10
  • Sophie McNeice
    Sophie McNeice

    I scored $434 in my spare time being online! I got it from - http://x.co/KTDa Dont say I never help anyone!

    11/22/10
  • Hayley Moseley
    Hayley Moseley

    I snagged $473 in two days doing almost nothing! I got it from - http://goo.gl/3CN6K Your going to be so happy!

    11/20/10
  • Harris Wain
    Harris Wain

    OMG... this girl is naked on her msn cam. Shes trying to set a record for most msn cam views.... hit her up on CaroylnRieberlbdgi@hotmail.com, its her msn messenger name

    10/28/10
  • Harris Wain
    Harris Wain

    I just snagged $753 in 4 days spending time online! Made it with - http://bit.ly/aguQjq You will love me for this!

    10/25/10
  • Yiannis Goumas
    luv Yiannis Goumas

    Ladies hae you seen this guy ?

    8/2/09
  • Mark Craig
    Mark Craig

    my flat this wednesday yes lawd

    4/13/09
  • Daniel Higginson

    even!!! yes even!!

    3/3/09
  • Louise Henry
    luv Louise Henry

    glad things are goin well for ya :D il give u a text sometime soon for a chat xoxoxox

    11/17/08
  • Louise Henry
    Louise Henry

    well hows glasgow treating u? miss u xoxox

    11/15/08
  • luv Rory

    yeah man pretty much residing in glasgow at the mo, put belfast to shame in a serious way! when are you due over?slip us a sneaky text and we can check the scenario, yeah my number should still be the same, 95184

    9/22/08
  • Daniel Higginson

    Get up soulja boy!

    9/1/08
  • luv Daniel Higginson

    Lad that ball was never on!

    6/10/08
  • Wee-Lauren-Salty
    Wee-Lauren-Salty

    HEY! Howz u? Howd ur lens based interview go? Any news yet?? U get in? I didnt get in! :( GRR...... Tlk soon.

    6/8/08
  • luv Daniel Higginson

    2day is a good day!

    5/13/08
  • .Debs.
    .Debs.

    Well did you wear your shirt out with dark jeans and brown shoes? If not.......SHAME ON YOU! :P

    5/8/08
  • Nathan
    Nathan

    u completely backed down from the guy with the hammer :) haha

    5/2/08
  • Holly Anderson
    Holly Anderson

    hey geek. how r ya? hav u heard anythin about photography yet? lauren and kylie heard they didnt get in, i havent heard anythin yet tho. heres and interesting fact...since ur usually so eager to hear them... One in three snake bite victims is drunk. One in five is tatooed. Hav fun with that. x

    4/23/08
  • Nikki
    Nikki

    ben- apolgies for the "Ghetto" name calling last nite :L lol u no i was only drunk....even tho u were being a bit ghetto! :P

    4/14/08
  • Rachel
    Rachel

    hi how's you?

    4/10/08